Friday, December 15, 2006

I'm Over IT!!!! we went on hiatus for a while....and who knows....we might do it again. But today I actually have a few minutes to vent, err, write...about some things.

For the first time in a while, I'm sick in bed and doing absolutely nothing. Its weird. Living in NYC you don't have time to sit in bed and do nothing, and now that I find myself in this position, what better thing to do than mend to our poor and failing blog?

And today not only am I a woman sick with a bad cold or flu or whatever has crept under my skin, I am whole-heartedly, completely, and utterly sick of men. My experiences here the past year and a half have turned me into one cynical, negative, and doubtful 23 year old. I admit that its pathetic and sad, but when it comes to men, I just GIVE THE F UP.

I'm not even looking for a boyfriend. I was over that a long time ago. But what I do look for as a smart, educated, pretty young a little damn respect. And that, my friends, I have failed to receive as well.

A perfect example would be this past Wednesday. This handsome feller I met at a trader party back in July or August called me to hang out. We've hung out a few times before and have always had fun. Last time we hung out we shared our first kiss. Our friendship that was developing had a lot of potential and I could feel sparks from both sides. I don't have much expectations anymore, but when I called him back he told me he wanted to discuss something with me before we hung out. ("Jesus Christ what the hell could it be now?" is what I was thinking) Ohhh welp, he is currently dating someone. Fine. We could still be friends, right? So I got off work and went over to his place to continue our "discussion", yet instead, he wasn't in for more discussing. The sleezeball made a bee-line for my lips and tried to kiss me. I jerked myself away and asked what the hell that was about. He then further informed me that he didn't see "us" going anywhere, but that he would like to hook up with me on the side. Without his girlfriend knowing. Never in my LIFE have I been made to felt so trashy and disrespected. I've deleted his number from my phone, and him from my life.

But that's not even the end to this hellacious week. I woke up this morning to have one missed call from my cute neighbor friend. We've kissed a couple times and nothing more, but I have to wonder what signal I give off when the message he left me at 2am last night said, "Ashley...its Mike...I'm booty calling you. Why? Because I'm going crazy. So call me back, and if not, call me tomorrow to make fun of me."

Again, another number, deleted.

I've tried online sucks. They all want booty. I won't give it. They stop calling.

Then there is the fling I had with a boy I went to high school with. Every time I came home, we'd see each other. His current lack of communication and interest in me has lead to yet another deletion.

I don't get it. I'm not an uniteresting person. I don't hook up with random people. I'm far from a slut. I put myself out their in the dating world only to get burned and burned and burned to the point where I am sick in bed and don't want to get out.

So if anyone has a remedy for the poor girl sick in bed with MENingitus, please let her know. She's tired of the sleezeballs that have caused her to come down with such a sickness.

Friday, August 25, 2006

Oh, no. He didn't...

So, we all know how I feel about visible panty lines... VPLs if you will... But today, (on the metro ride from hell - I swear we were packed tighter than sardines bc of delays on the Orange line), I saw a MAN with them. Which is actually a first for me.

And he was married... Shouldn't married people look out for each other for stuff like that? I mean, I'm just wondering...

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Unsolicited advice

It is unnecessary and annoying. I know that friends mostly mean well when they blurt out what (they think) you're doing wrong and/or why what they (think they) know is better than what you do. But, my goodness, it is so frustrating.

It's one thing if a friend is putting herself in a dangerous situation. Because then, as a true friend, you need to let her know that you're worried for her and are here for her if she needs you. (Or him, if it's a guy of course.)

But otherwise, just keep your mouth shut. Please :)

This is something that has always bothered me, but recently it's been stemming from the fact that I am going to, in the next half year, be making some major changes in my life. Changes that are going to make me a lot happier and more inline with the future that I want. And my mind's made up. 100%. I know that the choices that I'm going to make are the right ones for me.

And all I want is support, which mostly I've been given... But there are a few friends who've felt the need to tell me what they'd do if they in my shoes. I appreciate the fact that their words stem from love for me and wanting to help me, but 1) I'm not asking for their help and 2) they are NOT in my shoes. Yes, there are many different ways to do things, I understand that. But the way that I choose is the way that suits me best. And because you're NOT in my shoes, you can't really tell me that I'm wrong.

Unless, as I said before, the situation is a dangerous one, I really try to curtail anything unsolicited from coming out of my mouth... Because I think that people should be able to hope and dream and really reach for their goals - without my opinion bringing them down... Unless they ask for my thoughts, in which case I am always honest. OK, maybe I do express my views on the blog... but that's different :) I just wish that everyone would adopt the same policy. Don't give your opinion if it's not asked for! Because if it's not asked for, it's most likely not wanted.

Anyway - I'm off to ballet... PEACE

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Crazy Cruise

Tom, that is... Was dropped from Paramount due to his unacceptable behavior, which apparently affected the company's box-office takings.


Monday, August 21, 2006

Welp, That's A Wrap...I think!

You are probably sick of hearing about my dating escapades by now. Welp, its my blog and I'll cry if I want to.

Or maybe I am just being premature in my thinking...I don't know.

So "Harry" and I had a great second date, and the next night he invited me to a baseball game. We went, had a blast, got coffee and breakfast after the game, shared kisses, held hands, and had another wonderful night. Date number three was just as fun as dates number one and two.

I felt a great connection with him. From the first date we had just clicked. I know its only been three dates and realize it takes MUCH more to get to really know a person, but things seem to be on a great track.

I haven't spoken to him since Saturday night but we've very very briefly spoken on IM. Both times I IM'ed him. Both times his response was that he was going to bed. That was that. Not 'how was your day' or 'when can I see you' or even a simple 'hi'...

Now I dont expect him to jump up and scream my name and profess his love to me. That would freak me out! But I feel that if he wants to continue what we have started...the past two days he gets a F for effort. His contact with me went from very intense to very minimal...which is very up and down...and not acceptable in my book.

It could very well be that he isnt interested anymore, but seeming out we left off on Saturday night (waited for my subway to come, passionately kissing me goodnight)... I was left with butterflies in my stomach!! (For the first time in a long time)

This is the part where dating gets annoying AND complicated. This is where I start thinking and analyzing way too much, protecting my feelings and my emotional stability from even the slightest mishap. This is what ALWAYS happens to me when I start liking someone!! I freak out and get paranoid and don't know what to do, and I feel that he can see my thoughts over IM and know that I am liking him and freaking out about it.

I need a vacation. Not a man!

I'll be on vacy for the next few days...enjoying and remembering why its FABULOUS to be single and stress free!

Three strikes...errr dates...and I'm OUT!

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Date Number Two

I've learned that second dates can either go downhill or up. There is no inbetween. If the first date was great, there is really no telling what the second will be like. First dates are the two people trying to impress the other person, they are on their best behavior, using their manners, trying not to get sloppy (if they find out they like the person.)

So I had my second date with "Harry" last night. If you haven't been keeping up with my dating trials and tribulations, feel free to refer to my two previous postings.

I'll admit I was somewhat nervous because the first date went so well. My expectations were so high I was a bit scared I would be let down. But hey, thats the game of dating!

We decided to meet up at a posh rooftop bar in the city last night. Amongest a rowdy crowd cheering for their Yankees (who were playing the Red Sox), annoying drunk girls who tried to steal his seat from him, and bump and grind music being played over the loud speakers, somehow we both still felt like we were the only people there.

At one point, Harry stopped and looked around with a puzzled look on his face.

"I just forgot where I was. I didn't even notice that we were here...because I've been talking to you all night!"

Once again we chatted, laughed, made fun of the drunks, and a few hours later (okay okay by this time it was 2:45 am) we decided we were starving and went to get breakfast at a diner. Over french toast, eggs, and bacon at 3am we continued to enjoy each others company. Honestly if it wasnt 4am knowing that the sun would be up in an hour, I would have stayed out for 10 more hours.

We finished our meal and realized it was time to call it a night. He paid for everything. Drinks at the bar, the cab, the breakfast. I even offered to pay the cab and breakfast! He wouldn't let me.

Harry finally walked me out to my cab...gave me a hug, and, our first kiss goodnight. :-)

Any nerves or anxiety I had over the coming 2nd date have been withered away. I am looking forward to the 3rd date because I know it will be just as, if not more FUN!

I'm at the point now where I know I like him and enjoy being with him. But do I keep pursuing others with online dating? Should I still be looking to see whats out there? I'm definetely very interested in him, but I don't want to throw all my cards in one basket, but at the same time I don't want to spread myself to thin. Ah! Will keep you posted.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Loooove Connection

So now that I have this whole "logging in" thing down...let's get down to business. My business. A lot has happened in the past fews days (or shall I say dates?) and I feel compelled to share.

As you may know, Sara is in a wonderful relationship right now. I really think this is it for her. While I have never met the handsome fellow, I have personally called him and talked to him on the phone -- and 100 percent approve. Sara and I have been through our share of terrible men, so when one of my best friends finds a man that can make her this happy (and I have never seen her like this) - then I couldn't be happier as well!

And then there is me. My past relationships have been a firey trainwreck. First, my first love - we dated on and off for five years. He cheated. Then, my first boyfriend in college - he cheated. Finally, my most recent disaster (although its been a year now) - he cheated and is now dating a former friend. Of course I am better off without those bastards, but is it so wrong to wish for the right one to come along after have these awful, abusive relationships? I've been on a loosing streak since HIGH SCHOOL.


I haven't given up. I've come to realize that I've just picked the wrong men for me. And Sara has helped me realize that all these unfortunate things that have happened to me in my past relationships are only stepping stones to lead me to the one who actually WILL treat me right.

So in that case, bring on the men!

I've recently thrown myself into the fiesty sea of online dating. I have date #2 this coming weekend with "Harry"...(see
my first posting)I am surely looking forward to that date (we decided on a movie.) At a magazine party this past Tuesday I met a handsome gentleman we will call "Brandon". Brandon works in finance (like every other NYC guy) and coincidentally (and somewhat convient) I found out he lives in my SAME apartment building. Had I not lived in NYC I would have been shocked and probably put some underlying meaning to meeting a guy at a posh party who happens to live in my building. But I've learned that you can run into ANYONE living here, and running into someone who lives in your building is likely to happen. Anywho, Brandon and I seemed to "hit it off"...and I put that in quotes because when there is alcohol involved, you can hit it off with anyone. I gave him my number, he gave me his. It will be intesting to find out if he takes the initiative to actually call me. I've decided if I don't hear from him in a week I will call and invite him out to a bar with my friends (that idea I got from Glamour magazine.)

So instead of sulking around and crying about what could have been, I am looking forward to what will be...if not with the guys mentioned above I know with someone and I am willing to wait -- for I know it will be WELL worth it! :-)

Monday, August 14, 2006

Kate's back on the market...

So, just announced, Kate Hudson has split up with her husband Chris Robinson. Although I'm sad for them, I always thought they seemed a little mismatched.

That being said, I can't wait to see who she pairs up with next! (I previously said this about Jessica Simpson, even though I secretly still hope she and Nick will get back together, but she's been so boring lately - dating-wise anyway.) Kate's so hot. Let's imagine her next to some of hollywood's hottest stars and YOU pick who she'd look the best with!

First up, Kate and Jared Leto (back when he used to be SUPER hot)

And how about Kate with my current favorite cutie, Tatum Channing:

Or how about with the love of my life (second to my boyfriend, of course) Ryan Reynolds:

(She must be laughing at something HILARIOUS that he said, as he is so funny...)

Or, just for one more here she is with the hottie from Prison Break:

Welp. There ya have it folks. Take your pick! (My vote's for Jared Leto - of course based solely on looks...)

Sunday, August 13, 2006

One's Quest For Love

Dating in New York City can go to the dogs. Of course I am young, beautiful, and fabulous, but lets face is every other girl walking down the street here. This place is full of gorgeous and ambitious women...and men too. And while everything else in our lives seems to be together (the career, the social life, health) there is ONE thing we can't figure out: DATING.

I hear the men complain as much as the women: no one can find the right person, not even the one they want to marry, but just one that they like. Maybe its because we are used to such a fast-paced hard-driving lifestyle that a quick romance is perfect for instant gratification...but in the long run its just not going to cut it.

Which is why I've just checked into online dating.

I know, I know. I was a skeptic at first as well. I won't lie to you and tell you there aren't creepy guys on there. There ARE. But don't let the few ruin it for all the good ones.

So last night I put my little online dating trial run to a test and went on a blind date. We'll call him "Harry." Harry's pictures were cute, his profile seemed interesting, and we got to chatting online...(yes I know phone is too personal these days, IM is safer) We finally decided we should meet up for dinner.

I hadn't talked to Harry on the phone until last night, when I was in the cab trying to figure out where this restaurant was. I was pleased when I walked up to him and saw that he looked exactly like his pictures. He was actually even CUTER in person, a major plus. He escorted me inside and we sat down at 9 p.m. for dinner. We ate, chatted, laughed, drank...and before we knew it the clock hit 3am. Neither of us had moved from our seats all night. I looked around the restaurant and saw that we were the only people left and the waitress was kicking us out! Harry walked me to my cab, kissed me on the cheek, and sent me on my way. It was the best first date I've ever had.

So will there be another? Surely I do hope so. But even if not, I am now one to vouche that online dating is worth a shot. Whether its your quest for love or just to find a friend, spending a Saturday night laughing and learning about a new person beats going to a bar and taking shots with a random drunk guy anyday!

I guess I owe all my thanks to Dr. Phil. :-)

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Step, Step, Step it Up

From the bias of a girl who's danced her entire life - Step Up is a FANTASTIC movie. There's a ton of dancing, the main characters are hot, hot, hot and the plot was decent - even if predictable (but, hello, I was concentrating on the dance scenes anyway).

The movie was so good that I've been inspired into getting my ass back into the dance scene. Seriously - this week I'll be taking classes in the city - ballet and hip hop. And I'm determined to stick with it. I can't wait!

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand... We're back!

Well, I am at least... And I'm joined by a new writer who will introduce herself shortly... It was just too hard to stay away! These fingers have just been ITCHING to write...

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See you soon!

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Monday, December 05, 2005

It's been fun

But I'm done. (For now at least.)

The Butterfly Network is now officially on hiatus. I just don't have the time/ideas to keep it updated daily (in case you haven't noticed). Maybe we'll be back, but regardless - best of luck to the rest of you!

Monday, November 28, 2005

Can you find them all?

Apparently, there are 75 different band references in this picture... Can you find them? I'll list what I've found so far in my comments section!

Pay It Forward ... Sara's Version

Last week, I was talking to a friend about guys. And how, while there are so many nice ones out there, there are also a TON of assholes. You all have known one of the types... Cocky, selfish, lying, sometimes cheating, pansy-ass, spineless guys who either are jerks upfront or are of the sneakier, slimier variety - the ones who start of being super nice and considerate without even a hint of who they really are deep down. In my opinion - so obviously it's correct ;-) - those guys are the worst kind of assholes. At least with the ones who are jerks upfront, you know what you're getting yourself into - and it's kind of your own fault if you fall for them and end up getting burned. But the deceiving ones - the ones who make you think at first that they're the type that you'd like your family to meet - they can really blindside you. Knock your feet out from under you and make you wonder for weeks what the heck really happened.

So my friend and I were discussing the awful ways in which these guys treat girls. And started wondering who the hell they think they are - these guys - and why the hell they seem to think that they can get away with treating women the way that they do. They act like these slimey bastards - whether cheating, lying, falling off the face of the earth, or whatever else they may do - and then, to top it off, they always come slithering back and are surprised if they're not taken. And we realized that, by this age, when guys act like that and think it's ok - it's most likely because women in the past have let the guys treat them that way.

And then I realized that because the guys have been led to believe that it's ok - they'll always treat women that way. UNLESS maybe we start a sort of "Dating Pay It Forward"... When you're dating a jerk - leave him. Don't take him back. And, maybe, it will be a sign to him that it's not ok to treat people that way. And, maybe, he'll think twice in the future about treating someone else that way. And I'm sure it's hard to think about him with someone else - nobody likes to do that - but perhaps someone else will have done the same thing to your next man to help turn him into someone who will treat you with the respect that you deserve. See what I'm saying? So pay it forward with the assholes - don't let them think it's ok to treat you or anyone else with less than what you deserve.

OK, fine - perhaps you think it's a silly concept. It probably is. But if you want to really how I feel - whether you think of it as "paying it forward" or not - you should leave anyone who doesn't treat you nicely. Sometimes it's hard because of feelings that may exist - but don't you want to look back on your life and remember that you had respect for yourself?

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Sara Facts 101

Welcome to today's online class about... me!

To follow suit with Asian Mistress, I (finally) have a little bit of free time today so I'm going to give a list of things about me a whirl!
  1. I can't stand when two different textured things rub against each other - ie a marker across a pillow case... Stuff like that is equivalent to people scratching their nails down chalkboards.
  2. I was a gymnast for about 10 years. I placed first on floor, vault, bars and all-around in Level 6 States. I competed nationally at Elite Level. When I quit, I was in an Olympic training group.
  3. I can no longer remember the fancy names of the gymnastic moves that I used to perform.
  4. I am obsessed with Sudoku.
  5. My favorite color depends on my mood.
  6. I don't like facial hair on guys.
  7. I had a friend that smelled REALLY bad, and I never knew how to tell her. I still don't know if I could tell her today.
  8. I hate being a part of drama - but at the same time, I love to know what's going on when there is drama.
  9. I'm really good at keeping secrets.
  10. One of the most frustrating things in the world to me is when a boy says he'll call you and then doesn't.
  11. I have no self-control when it comes to spending money and eating.
  12. I hate flossing.
  13. I LOVE kittens.
  14. I had a girl's version of 6-pack abs my sophomore year of college. I'm terrified that I'll never have those abs again. (please refer to #11)
  15. I just, right this second, received an email that my business cards came in - and I'm way more excited than I should be...
  16. I try my hardest to be neat, but in reality I'm messy. However, when things aren't put in proper places, I get frustrated.
  17. I hate clutter, but can't seem to get rid of it.
  18. Other than the regular seasonal flare-ups, I'm not allergic to anything. (that I know of)
  19. I'm a fourth generation smoker and cancer runs in my family. It's time to quit, but I always quit quitting.
  20. A big fear of mine is being made to seem insignificant.
  21. I just took a half an hour break from this to work on a moderately difficult Sudoku puzzle. I didn't finish it.
  22. When I was younger, I was obsessed with my handwriting. I hated it. I tried to change it almost every week, because I wanted to write in a way that was pretty to look at. I just recently have come to terms with the fact that I will always have sloppy handwriting.
  23. I don't own diamond earrings. I really want a pair, but know that I'll never end up buying them.
  24. I work in an office, not a cubicle - and I love that.
  25. 24, Lost and Grey's Anatomy are my absolute favorite shows. Following slightly behind are the OC, Reunion, Surface, Rome, Desperate Housewives and Family Guy.
  26. I am obsessed with Ryan Reynolds. If he walked into my office/house/wherever and said he wanted me... Well, he could have me. In any way he wanted.
  27. Except for right now, because I'm kind of into someone else...
  28. I hate Alanis Morissette. (Due to #26)
  29. Someday I think I'll get into writing romance novels. I know I'd be good at it.
  30. Dying scares me because my relationship with God is not where I want it to be yet.
  31. There isn't much that turns me on more than a boy who is really considerate.
  32. Well, maybe humor comes in at a close second.
  33. And that's after all the physical things of course.
  34. I always have songs stuck in my head. And most of the time they're completely random.
  35. A major reason behind why I really love my new job, is the fact that I have made a lot of new friends. And I'm not just talking work buddies, I mean actual friends. It's great. I only had one real friend at my old job.
  36. I'm only at number 36 and I'm running out of interesting things to say about myself. Man am I a bore or what?
  37. If I feel rushed, I get pissed.
  38. So I'm generally early everywhere.
  39. I'm easily turned off by guys. Especially cowards. But just as easily by conceitedness.
  40. I hate how girls feel the need to act snobby in public if other girls are around.
  41. I can't stand seeing animals hurt. I almost walked out of the Butterfly Effect.
  42. I'm a youth group leader for my church. I love the hell outta my kids and am terrified that they don't like me or that I won't get my messages through to them.
  43. Sometimes I know that my messages don't get through to them.
  44. Bugs, (including ants, but excluding lady bugs and butterflies), terrify me. To the point of ridiculousness.
  45. Sometimes I feel ill because I think about the statistics of how many spiders and cockroaches a person eats in their sleep a year.
  46. I just googled #45 and found out it's a myth. I'm realllllly happy about it :-)
  47. My good friend Dave took me sky-diving for my 21st birthday. It's about the most exhilarating experience I've ever had. I would highly recommend it.
  48. I have a very bad habit of living from paycheck to paycheck. It's really, really hard for me to save money.
  49. My past couple relationships have caused me to stop believing in "fairy-tale" romances. I'm more depressed about this than I was when I found out that Santa Claus didn't exist.
  50. When my hands are dry, I get irritated.
  51. I've only cheated on one boy, and that was my junior year in high school. I kissed someone else.
  52. I love sauces. Barbecue, honey mustard, take your pick.
  53. I always ask for extra cheese on everything.
  54. Flying frightens me. Because of 9/11, I'm always afraid something will happen. But terrorism aside, I'm also talking about plane/pilot malfunctions. When I'm in a plane and we hit turbulence, I freak out.
  55. My family jokingly calls me Saint Sara the Little Princess. Sara means little princess, and I can't really remember where the Saint part comes from.
  56. My favorite book to be read when I was little was Good Night Moon.
  57. Hands down, I truly believe that if someone opened a Bojangles in Northern Virginia, or DC, they would make an absolute killing.
  58. If you don't know what Bojangles is, you are sorely missing out.
  59. I think that guys who talk about wanting to fight someone when they get drunk (or, even worse, when they're sober) are the biggest losers around.
  60. Fast food is my guilty pleasure. I love cheeseburgers. McDonald's, Wendy's and Burger King in particular. Sometimes I eat so much from them, I feel sick. Sometimes, I'd rather eat a fast food burger than eat a nice steak. I don't think I've ever told anyone about this particular fetish. I'm going to give it up cold turkey SOON.
  61. I'm about to try doing a total cleansing detox pill cycle for the first time.
  62. I hate being pale. I tan whenever I can. (But not to the point where I'm orange)
  63. I have sex dreams a lot. It's a nice quirk to have ;-)
  64. I love rainbows and shooting stars. And I don't care if that's silly.
  65. I've never traveled outside of the United States
  66. Love Story and Meet Joe Black are some of my favorite movies and I sob all the way through them.
  67. I can't watch romance movies when I'm not in a relationship.
  68. I have a tattoo of a crescent moon with a vine around it and a star on my back. It means serenity. But people always think it's a dolphin. It pisses me off.
  69. I don't watch porn, but I have nothing against it...
  70. I think it's funny that I just wrote about porn on number 69 without meaning to. (Insert teenage-ish giggling here)
  71. I'm not 100% sure where I stand politically. I tend to lean in one direction but I really need to educate myself.
  72. I developed stagefright my junior year of college when I completely forgot a dance at a halftime performance when I was smack dab in front. I looked like an idiot. And I lost my love for performing after that.
  73. I used to want chocolate alllll the time when I was little. Now I can take or leave it.
  74. I've never used an excuse of a headache to not have sex.
  75. Numbers. I have a weird relationship with them. For example: If I look at a (digital) clock I have to make all of the numbers equal 1 to 10 before it changes to the next minute. So, if it's 12:45 my thought process goes like this: 1=1;2=2;1+2=3; 4=4; 5=5; 5+1=6; 5+2=7; 4x2=8; 4+5=9; 5x2=10... I'm a weirdo... I know this.
  76. I can not pee if anyone can hear me. (Unless I'm really good friends with them, or I'm drunk at a bar.) Especially boyfriends. Again, I know I'm super weird.
  77. The Walmart in North Carolina where I went to school sells pepperjack cheese cubes. I could eat bag after bag. I don't like any other type of cubed pepperjack cheese. And I can't find it anywhere else.
  78. I have a tendency to go for guys who aren't good for me. Most of the time they're jerks. I don't do this because I fit into the "girls who are attracted to assholes" category. I do it because deep down I'm not ready for anything to get too far; I'm scared of real relationships.
  79. I don't really know what to say here.
  80. I'm on a conference call right now.
  81. My biggest pet peeve is when you're standing with a group of people, but one of them unthinkingly turns in, with their back towards you, so that you're excluded from the group.
  82. When I'm out and realize that I want to leave, it's almost impossible to get me to change my mind. My "fun-meter" shuts off and I just concentrate on wanting to leave. I've tried to change this, but have been unsuccessful thus far.
  83. I have REALLY curly hair.
  84. I've always wanted to be a dog person. But I'm afraid that my ex-boyfriend's dog turned me off of big dogs forever.
  85. I will never stop loving cats, though.
  86. I'm excited about this list because I want to look back at it in 5 years and revisit the way things used to be... Like a time capsule!
  87. Sometimes I go to 7-11 and buy a hotdog bun (but no dog) and drench it in nacho cheese. It's maybe one of my favorite meals. But I really only do it when I'm drunk.
  88. I don't know how to cook. The only thing that keeps me from trying to learn is the thought of cleaning up the kitchen afterwards.
  89. I never skip ahead in magazines. I read front to back, the entire way through.
  90. Mystic River is one of my favorite movies. So is Million Dollar Baby.
  91. Obviously, I think that Clint Eastwood is a brilliant director.
  92. I had a flour fight with my best friend when I was little (we got flour EVERYWHERE). I've always thought it'd be cute/fun to have a fight like that, or paint or water or whatever, with a boyfriend.
  93. I don't like corn on the cob. But I do like corn off of the cob, and creamed corn.
  94. I have a book, somewhat of a picture journal, that I tape concert/plane tickets, clothing labels, purse labels, interesting facts, etc. So that I can look back and have an idea of what I used to be like. (Kind of like this list)
  95. I want to live as long as possible.
  96. How somebody can speak into the end of one cell phone, and another person thousands of miles away can hear them and speak back absolutely astounds me. (Same with wireless internet and other things of that nature)
  97. I have awful credit because I messed up big time in college and am still bad with money. But I am slowly, but surely, working on it.
  98. I don't like non-flavored potatochips.
  99. When I was little, I truly believed with my whole heart that my stuffed animals came to life when I wasn't around. I used to try to creep up to my room and throw my door open to catch them. It never worked.
  100. The impression that I get from most people is that they think I'm really nice. For the most part, it's true - but I can be a HUGE bitch when necessary.
  101. I have thrown a complete drink in an asshole's face before. And I loved it.

Thanks for reading! :-)

Wednesday, November 09, 2005


Yesterday, I got to thinking about exes.... In the dating game, you meet someone, you think they're great and you date them. And then, when it's over, you ex them out. It's just the way life goes.

Some people, present company included, make an effort to be friends with exes. And it can certainly be accomplished. But it's always hanging there, no matter how great of friends you end up being... They are always, above everything else, your ex. That fact never goes away. It can be a touchy subject and maybe it's never spoken of. You might laugh about it with them, or perhaps you cry about it when nobody's around. But it's always up in the air in one way or another.

This lead me to thinking about the different ways that exes act. And how there are so many different types of exes. For instance, there's always:

1. Mr. Heartbreaker Ex - The most important influential ex. The one who seriously broke your heart and you can lie to yourself all that you want, but you will most likely never truly be over him. You can't help but compare other boyfriends to him, and most of the time they fall short... even if Mr. Heartbreaker was a real ass. He's the one who you swear you'd never give the time of day to again, but realistically, if he wanted you back you'd be there in a heartbeat.

2. Mr. Heartbroken Ex - The ex for whom you'll forever be Ms. Heartbreaker Ex. You might have had an amazing relationship, but you realized before he did that it was fizzling and broke it off. He was devastated and, whether or not you're able to be friends again, a part of him will always want you back.

3. Mr. Ex Squared (or Cubed, etc) Ex - This is the ex that you date and break up with. And then date again and break up again. And so on and so forth. You never quite learn your lesson that it's just not going to work out.

4. Mr. Wishful Thinking Ex - This is the guy whom you never dated but tells people he's your ex anyway. You may have hooked up once or twice, or maybe you never did, but you certainly did not have a relationship. However, in his head, he's built up a beautiful story about the two of you and the time you spent together which is topped off by your tragic ending. This, depending on the guy, can sometimes be embarrassing for you. Especially if he's definitely not anyone that you would ever really date.

5. Mr. Perfect Ex - You let this ex slip away. And you wish that you hadn't. He was perfect and you left him and regret it to this day because you know you could have been very happy together. Hindsight is a bitch.

6. Mr. Hanger-on Ex - This ex doesn't quite get the point that you're over. He calls and wants to hang out under the guise of friendship, but has very obvious ulterior motives to get back together. Sometimes he can hide these ulterior motives, but most of the time he can't and is quite annoying. It is a constant reminder of why you ended things in the first place. He sometimes borderlines on being Mr. Psycho Ex. And he probably does petty things to try to make you jealous.

7. Mr. Keep-Around Ex - This is the ex with whom you were not relationship compatible with but you were more than suitable with in other areas... aka the bedroom. You may be friends, you may not be. But your numbers stay in each other's phones because you certainly know who to call when you're drunk or just lonely... This can be tricky because of left over feelings making you think that if you're good in bed you should try the relationship part out again - but if you keep the facts straight in your mind, you should be fine.

8. Mr. Future Son-in-Law Ex - This ex you were ready to break up with for a while but your parents just loved him so much that you stayed in the relationship a little bit longer because maybe they saw something in him that you didn't. (This reverses into Mr. Future Parent-in-Laws: the ex that you stuck with a little longer than you should have because you just loved his family so much.)

9. Mr. Wants You Because He Can't Have You Ex - This title pretty much explains itself. And it certainly reverses itself to go both ways...

10. Mr. Mona Lisa Ex - The ex who seemed so amazing from afar, before you were dating, but up close, as you got into a relationship with him, you realized he was all fluff and not actually that nice. Careful here though because when you break up you tend to see him from afar again and doubt your (correct) decision to hightail it out of that relationship.

11. Mr. Future Ex - You haven't dated him yet. But you're going to. Even though you know he's wrong for you and it will never work out... But he's just so cute/fun/etc... You can't help yourself.

12. Mr. Waste of an Ex - The ex that you wish you'd never dated. You got nothing from the relationship except a bitter taste in your mouth knowing that he somehow got the best of your time, which was certainly wasted. This is the guy that, if you could go back in time, you would take back ever dating him.

I wrote these from a female perspective but I'm pretty sure all of my examples would fit just as well from a male perspective.

And a lot of the aforementioned exes are easily combined. For example Mr. Ex Squared Ex could easily be the same as Mr. Keep-Around Ex whom could easily also be Mr. Mona Lisa Ex, etc...

I could go on and on... Anyone else want to add their $.02?

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Bad weeks all around I guess...

Well, I know I'm not alone... But this week (starting last week) has SUCKED for me. Remember how I had started dating someone? Everything was good. Better than anything else recently. Between visits and calls and feelings. I've been happy.

Well, I guess all good things come to an end. Here's the scenario:

Saturday 10/22: He calls me. Says he wants me to come next weekend. He asked off of work and will call me on Sunday morning to let me know if he got the days off so I can go visit him.

Sunday 10/23: He doesn't call in the morning. He doesn't call at all.

Monday 10/24: He still doesn't call me about the upcoming weekend. So I call him and leave a message. He calls me back that night, with the bad news that he couldn't get off of work. I'm bummed, and he is too, but we agree we'll see each other in November a lot because he'll be home for 10 days. We have a good conversation. I bring up the fact that he has a tendency not to call when he says he's going to. He apologizes profusely and says not to take it personally, he's just really bad at doing it. He swears it won't happen again. We hang up on a really good note.

Tuesday 10/25 around 3:30 pm: He calls (I'm surprised because he wasn't supposed to). He's excited because he figured out a way for me to still come visit him around his work schedule. I say I'll probably still come. He says PLEASE DO because he really wants to see me. He misses me. Stuff along those lines. I think it's sweet and decide to cancel the plans I'd made for the weekend earlier in the day. He's excited and says he'll call me that night when he gets off of work, around 10:30, to work out the details.

Tuesday 10/25, 10:30: I've packed my bags because I know the rest of the week will be too busy to get it done. I also have gone out and bought bags of candy & pumpkins to stuff it in for him and his roommate. But he does not call. I get kind of pissed.

Wednesday 10/26: He does not call. I'm really pissed and a little bit worried about him.

Thursday 10/27: He does not call. I'm really pissed and also worried.

Friday 10/28: I'm supposed to drive to visit today. He does not call. I call him that afternoon and leave a message saying (practically verbatim): "Hi, it's me. I just wanted to make sure that you're ok, not hurt or sick or in a hospital somewhere. If that's the case, I hope you're ok and please let me know if I can do anything at all! But, if that's not the case, I just wanted to say that I don't think you should call me again. I mean, you're doing a stellar job of it already, but I just wanted to solidify that fact." It wasn't a bitchy message. More concerned at first and hurt toward the end. I was about to cry. He does not call back.

Saturday 10/29: He does not call.

Sunday 10/30: He does not call.

Monday 10/31: Hedoes not call, but he is online. His profile says this (and I quote, word for word): Cell phone was dead all weekend due to issues with my P.O.S. ancient Nextel Phone... Sorry to those who couldn't reach me and thanks to those few who left hateful messages... mature... Phone is back and working now if you need to get a hold of me...

And that's it. That wraps it up. And I'm not going to lie, I've been pretty upset this entire week.

He should have emailed me or gotten in contact with me some other way if his stupid phone was broken. And he has SOME nerve trying to say that in his profile, as though he's the one who was wronged in this situation. And talk about mature? How mature is it to leave a message like that in an online profile? And my message was NOT hateful.

Seriously. So your phone breaks?? There are other ways of communicating. Email? Roommate's phone? ESPECIALLY IF SOMEONE WAS PLANNING ON DRIVING 6 HOURS TO VISIT.

So, I guess another one bites the dust.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Wow is really all I can say...

I got this from a friend, who knows the guy who sent out the email you'll read below. It's hilarious. Mean, but seemingly well deserved. And hilarious regardless.

First: Email from Elizabeth to Brad, my friend's friend:


It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I feel like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I am truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the people in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person that I would ever want to wrong in any way. There is no excuse at all for anything that happened, so I won't even try other than to say all of us had WAY too much to drink, and I did a stupid thing. I can handle you being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve it, I can even handle the ugly words that were exchanged between us, what I can't handle is thinking that you see me as a different person. It is weird, I feel like I just went through a horrible break up or something. The world looked funny yesterday, I couldn't crack a smile if you paid me, there are songs I can't listen to, and I just ! feel beyond crushed. I don't know if you meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping that you didn't. I know that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also hoping that this is something that we can deal with. I know it sounds totally crazy and stupid, but you have come to play such a significant role in my life, I can't imagine my days without you. It is totally strange and weird to say that, and you could say that my behavior didn't reflect that, and you would be correct. I hate feeling like you hate me, and I hate feeling like all of your friends think I am a terrible person, because I am not. I know there is nothing I can say or do to take back what happened, but I just want you to know that fighting with you was just about the worst thing I could have ever imagined. It was right up there with one of the ugliest nights of my life, and I would give anything in the world to rewind and fix it.

I am not sure if you will respond to this, part of me thinks that you won't. If not today, then maybe some other time. Also, thanks for getting my stuff together, although I think my sunglasses are still at your house, if you could keep your eyes peeled for them that would be great.. I can't even focus or work today, I can't eat, I seriously feel like it was an ugly break up, and I am hoping against hopes that it was not that and you are not done with me. Please don't cut me off, I really don't think I can handle that.

I am so sorry.


And now, his unbelievable and FUNNY response:

Dear Elizabeth,

Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under "L" for "Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn't care less about".

You did a stupid thing huh? No...doing long division and forgetting to carry the one is "a stupid thing"; Mixing in a red sock with a load of whites is "a stupid thing"; Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45 minutes while I sit at the bar wondering if you're taking so long because you ate too much bran that morning isn't as much a "Stupid thing" as it is grounds for permanent removal from my social calendar.

To be honest, I'm not sure if it was more amusing that you went and degraded yourself in a public toilet not once but twice in a 2 hour span, or that you seemed to think that by saying "Well, I didn't Fuck him" somehow gave you a clean slate.

So forgive me if I couldn't care less if the world "looked funny" to you yesterday.Since your world revolves around blow dryers, golden retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly Beans, I'm sure it must have been most unsettling to actually have to consider someone else's feelings for 24 hours straight.The good news for you is that my friends don't think you're a terrible person, they just think you're the average run of the mill cum-guzzling blond who commands about as much respect as your average child porn collector. I could be wrong but, it's pretty hard to respect some B&T chick who comes out to spend the night at my place even though she's seeing someone else in New jersey and winds up tongue-bathing the taint of anyone who decides 30 minutes of droning commentary on Colin Farrell's new haircut is worth putting up with for a hand job in the men's room. The good thing about being a guy is that when I eventually bump into the young lad who finger-blasted you on top of a towel dispenser last saturday, we'll have a shot and laugh our heads off about the time it happened.

By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class you really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs you do. Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.

PS.I BCC'd about 100 people on this email.

Talk to you never, Brad

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Something Spooky for Halloween!


Strange but interesting.

This is a car advertisement from GreatBritain. When they finished filming the ad, the film editor noticed something moving along the side of the car, like a ghostly white mist.

They found out that a person had been killed a year earlier in that exact same spot.

The ad was never put on TV because of the unexplained ghostly phenomenon. Watch the front end of the car as it clears the trees in the middle of the screen and you'll see the white mist crossing in front of the car then following it along the road....

Spooky! Is it a ghost, or isit simply mist? You decide. Make sure to listen to the ad so you can hear the cameraman whispering the background about it near the end of the commercial.

A little creepy but I also kind of thought it was pretty...

Video and Photo Hosting

INCREDIBLE (Forward I received)

Julian Beever is an English artist who’s famous for his art on the pavements of England, France, Germany, USA, Australia and Belgium. It’s particularity? Beever gives to his drawing an anamorphose, his images are drawn completely distorted which give a 3D image when viewed at the right angle … see for yourself it’s amazing!!!

This is a drawing, looked at from the wrong angle:

Same image, from the right angle: