Friday, April 29, 2005

How do you want it, baby?

Do guys get turned on when they go to the bank to deposit their paycheck, and the young 20-something teller responds in her low key seductress voice, "How do you want it?"

Just a thought. It just happened to me, with a young female 20-something teller.

Now that's hot.

Cinco De Mayo

Cinco de Mayo... it's not even an American Holiday... and no, to all who have been misguided - it's not the Mexican Independence Day either. (Mexico declared its independence from Spain on September 16, 1810.) Yet, everyone I know celebrates it...

So, perhaps you may wonder why Cinco de Mayo is so great. And about why Americans should even care... Well, it's because the 5th of May memorializes the victory of the Mexicans over the French army at The Battle Of Puebla in 1862.

A quick overview:

Mexico eventually acquired independence from Spain in 1821 (although they declared independence over 10 years earlier) after an arduous and gory fight. Many political usurpations and wars, including the Mexican-American War (1846-1848) and the Mexican Civil War of 1858, had pretty much destroyed the national economy.

Mexico, due to these struggles, was in major debt with many Countries, including France. France wanted to use this debt to takeover leadership in Mexico. So the French army invaded Mexico. But when they got to the Mexican forts of Loreto and Guadalupe they encountered Mexican General Ignacio Zaragoza Seguin, and a small, poorly armed militia estimated at 4,500 men. But that small militia was able to stop and defeat the well armed French army of 6,500 (some say 8,000) men.

Although triumph was shortlived (because France was eventually able to take over Mexico City and establish Archduke Maximilian of Austria - Napolean's cousin - as
the ruler of Mexico), that victory was a sublime moment for Mexican patriots, which at the time helped to create the much needed feeling of national rapport, and is the cause for the historical date's celebration.

Anyway... my point here is that everyone loves to root for the underdog... And the underdog certainly won on Cinco de Mayo. Which is why it's so important to get out there and have fun on this day that celebrates opportunity and deliverance...

Still unclear? Well, basically what it means for you is the chance to get out there with 1/2 priced Coronas and your friends. Drink some Mexican Tequila-drenched margaritas, laugh, have a good time, enjoy some tapas... and quit acting like you know what you're celebrating... ;)

(Oh, and PS - as Cinco de Mayo falls on a Thursday this year, be sure to drink lots of water before bed so that work won't be quite as rough the next day... ) Hangover cures here

The "D" Word....I'm In!

I've known since I was a small girl of four, singing into my parent's video camera and preforming nightly newscasts of our "Family News": I was put on this earth to do great things, and be an ambitious person who goes beyond the ends of the earth to reach her dreams. Lately, I have had a bit of a drought in that feeling. I guess it goes along with my first "big girl" job ever, the college-to-real-world transition, and the fact that I am 22 and still wonder what the heck I ultimately plan on doing with my life. Yet alas, I have decided to blog my experiences to the world, as a stepping stone in my successes. And with that, I have set goals ~ and encourage readers to do the same.

There is one goal inparticular that has been haunting me for a time now. It's easy to think of many goals, but to act them out, now that's different. I want to loose weight. No, I am no overweight, but I am also not at my ideal weight. I don't want to look like a waif, but rather fit and healthy looking, and most importantly - toned.

Sara and I have decided to start a, gasp, diet. Yes, I utter at the "d" word too, but starting May 1 and going until June 1, we plan on experimenting with a different kind of "d." I am tired of following someone else's "d" plan, so I have decided to make up my own, as did Sara. We will diary our success through out blog, and although I do not plan to reveal my before and after weight ~ I will inform everyone how much I have lost ~ and we swear to the diet gods we will be honest about it!

So, starting May 1, 2005...my diet plan looks like this:
  • No more sodas - coke, diet coke, nada.
  • No more starbucks -check out the calorie count on some of those lattes...I have to kiss them goodbye.
  • Work out 3 times a week, 1 hour each session. (30 mins cardio, 30 mins weights, abs)
  • Absolutley NO MORE eating out - no more resturants, late night Wendy's, lunch breaks at Cosi. DONE.
  • Alcohol is OK- Hey, I'm 22 years old. Happy hour is part of my life style ~ and a healthy and social one at that.

So feel free to watch as I experiment with my very own "Give Up The Junk" Diet. Sara will have her own as well, and the battle to loose weight (in a healthy manner) starts Sunday!

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Goodbye to Absolut_Sassy

It has been fun being Absolut_Sassy... Well, actually it's just been me. (Then again, I am super fun so I guess the original statement stands.) When I first began blogging (not that I'm an expert now... ha) I knew nothing about it and just chose a random (although suiting of my personality... referencing liquor and a lively & spirited personality...) username. However, I am putting Absolut_Sassy to rest...

But to any of you who enjoy my writing (which, at this point, may consist of an audience of two), don't worry! I am still going to keep on blogging away... Even more so now than before.

But I am going to write using my full name from now on: Adolph Blaine Charles David Earl Frederick Gerald Hubert Irvin John Kenneth Lloyd Martin Nero Oliver Paul Quincy Randolph Sherman Thomas Uncas Victor William Xerxes Yancy Zeus Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorft Senior. Just kidding! That's just the person who won the award for "Longest Name".

Actually, from now on, I'll be blogging from my real name, Sara.

Lewinsky wanna-be's

This morning I came across the New York Daily News, to find a a fairly pretty blue-eyed blonde with folded arms, bearing her pinkish skin on the cover. Below, a title read, "Sex, Power, and D.C. Interns After Monica." I was intrigued. It was only last summer that I, too, was a D.C. intern.

Abbie Finfrock is a 20-year-old D.C. intern who claims she is down with the routine intern experience in D.C., but I have to say she couldn't be any more far off. She writes about how hard it is to survive as an intern in D.C., a poor woe-is-me cry out to all the other ditzy little blondes running around town in their new j-crew power suits and BCBG pumps, supposedly getting hit on left and right by political figures.

Finfrock even goes as far to compare D.C. interns to Monica Lewinsky: "Yet, seven years on, each new crop of eager and wide-eyed interns arrives like fresh prey for the city's political predators. Far from dampening the instincts of the political classes, the Lewinsky scandal appears to have egged them on. Monica has given us a bad reputation."

Wait, what?

The Lewinsky scandal egged on future interns or Monica has given us a bad reputation? Which is it, Miss Finfrock?

She claims that every intern she has talked to has had a bad experience with an older "grandpa-like" power figure in D.C. coming onto them. Well, she didn't talk to me, or the thousands of other interns who come to D.C. to seek professionalism and an educated learning experience, not scandal.

She adds that she spoke with an intern who claimed, "I mean, who wouldn't want to sleep with the President?"

Finfrock, you can pack your bags and take all your slutty college friends back to where you came from. Coming from the most powerful city in the world with the most powerful people, it'd be funny to wonder if you or your ditzy friends will even be offered a job here in the future.

I wouldn't count on it. After all, we certainly don't want any more Monica Lewinskys running around.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Something Worthwhile for a change

This summer, my friend Rob (a very old article & picture) is going to be working, with his brother, for a company called Art Works Football Club (AWFC) - with Urban Ministry.

Here's the basic rundown, it's a Charlotte, NC based organization that supports a soccer team planning on representing the United States in the 2005 World Cup.

Here's the catch: it's a team of people who are (or once were) homeless, and the World Cup I'm writing of is the Homeless World Cup, taking place in July 2005 in Edinburgh, Scotland.

The Homeless World Cup has been participated in, around the world since July 2003. It's "an international event that uses the positive power of football to raise the issue of homelessness and poverty worldwide ... Kick off homelessness! Viva el futbol!" <quote from here> (Obviously the term "football" is referring to what we call soccer...)

The first Homeless World Cup took place in Sweden, with teams from 18 countries playing a total of 109 games. More than 20,000 spectators came to watch. The 2005 Homeless World Cup is estimated to have 32 teams, comprised of over 250 players from around the world.

What an absolutely fantastic organization.

"The main target of the HWC is to utilize the international interest for

  • the raise of the profile of the issue of homelessness and poverty worldwide
  • the support of the international movement of streetpapers by sponsorship contracts and media marketing
  • the promotion of social integration through sport projects in the participating countries"

<quote from here>

Find out how you can support it here. It is a 100% worthwhile cause!

Friday, April 22, 2005

In the news...

Well, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are engaged... Bennifer part deux, anyone? They've kept way more low-key than Ben & Jen #1 (Jennifer Lopez), so maybe they'll last longer this time... However, I have have become jaded. I've lost faith in hollywood couples everywhere... (Jen & Brad, Katie Holmes & Chris Klein, Britney & Justin, Paris & Nicole, even Barbie & Ken)

A Missouri-based Vietnam veteran spit tobacco juice in Jane Fonda's face - due to a photograph in her new memoir in which she's sitting on a North Vietnamese anti-aircraft gun.

John Bolton, President Bush's nominee for ambassador to the United Nations, desperately needs a haircut. hahahahaha

Two key sports players to watch this year: Clyde Simms from D.C. United and Chad Tracy from the Arizona Diamondbacks... (Don't worry, I am a huge Nationals fan, but I knew both these guys through friends at school - go ECU -and they're both AWESOME enough to be mentioned, regardless of the fact that one of them is not a player for a DC team...)

Anna Ayala, the woman who found a fingertip (manicured, at that) in Wendy's chili, has been arrested for larceny in connection with the chili. No details about how the larceny charges were included in the USA Today article that I read. However, apparently she's been around the block, so to speak, when it comes to filing claims against corporations. Sounds like a weirdo to me...

Madonna is being sued because she allegedly owes over $300,000 in directing and production fees for her European tv concert special. I mean seriously, why wouldn't she pay it? I'd imagine that a mere $300,000 is like chump change to her.

Ecstasy use is down among highschoolers.... hmmm, maybe that's because they've now switched to prescription drugs...

Monday, April 11, 2005

The Butterfly Network Presents: Real Men of Genius

Mr. Construction Worker Who Enjoys Acting Lewd Toward Women Who Walk By

The Butterfly Network Presents Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Genius)

Today we salute you, Mr. Construction Worker Who Enjoys Acting Lewd Toward Women Who Walk By
(Mr. Construction Worker Who Enjoys Acting Lewd Toward Women Who Walk By)
They say actions speak louder than words - and apparently this has become your construction worker’s creed.
(Because you graphically use your hands to show what you want to do.)
We see you standing out there on the road in your Tims, holy jeans and a sweaty cutoff flannel shirt – and let’s not forget that mighty big tool belt
(Are we trying to compensate for something else?)
With your whistling catcalls, accompanied by your specially developed sign-language that would make any deaf person blush, you single-handedly manage put the word “scared” in front of the clause “woman walking down the street”
(Quite an accomplishment!)
So crack open a nice, cold Bud Light, Mr. No Matter How Many Times I Get Rejected, I Refuse To Give Up Because I Just Know Deep Down These Women Really Want Me. And let that cool, cool beer help heal your scratchy throat – because otherwise you won’t be able to holler at the women tomorrow.

Boobies on the rise

Over the next three days, the FDA is meeting to consider the applications of two companies, Inamed and Mentor, to provide silicone gel breast implants. If you've been sleeping for the past 13 years, silicone impants were banned back in 1992 -- and have since then been denied through out the years.

But these next three days might change the history of these squishy boobie-enhancing devices. Women from around the country have gathered in Gaithersburg, Maryland to give testimony of their fortunes, mishaps, and overall experience with silicone implants.

The other alternative implant, saline, is the most widely used implant now.

Breast augmentation is a highly popular sugery amongst women in the U.S....and even our favorite celebrities account for it.

Who needs a job to make money? Just have a baby with p.diddy and you'll be set...

According to a Washington Post Online Article, a court ordered Sean "P Diddy" Combs to pay over $21,000 a month in child support to ex-girlfriend, Misa Hylton-Brim, with whom he has an 11-year old son. He is already paying about $30,000 a month in child support to Kim Porter, with whom he has a son, Christian. That's roughly $51,000 a month in child support... $612,000 a year... Man, those kids will want for nothing...

Friday, April 08, 2005

Of interest... recent happenings...

Former 98 Degrees member, Justin Jeffre, is running for Cincinnati Mayor. What is it with celebrities wanting to get into government... (Jesse Ventura, Arnold Schwarzenneger, etc...)

Dominos is going to start charging $1 for delivery... that sucks... nuff said.

Brad Pitt's publicist said that the rumored Pitt/Jolie affair was not true... Maybe Jen will tear up those divorce papers now and hollywood's most beautiful couple will thrill us all and stay together! (Probably wishful thinking, but I'm still holding out for Tom & Nicole and Bruce & Demi as well...)

Mitch Hedberg, comedian extraordinaire, passed away.

The Kennedy Center is hosting a "Fabulous! Fashions of the 1940s" exhibition... The first fashion exhibition ever there! Who will be in line for tickets... hmmm, I wonder... maybe the Butterfly Network's contributors??

Key Redskins players Santana Moss and Sean Tayler skipped out on voluntary practice... Gibbs is not happy - neither am I... Jeez... I want a winning season!

Gas prices are growing and will be staying high... Man, now I wish I had gotten a damn hybrid...

Take Me Out To The Ball Game!

Is anybody as excited as I am that the Washington Nationals are tied for first place in the National League East? Sure, the season hasn't officially started yet, but this is just what our city needs - more sports and spirit. While tourists graze into our home territory this weekend to celebrate the Cherry Blosson Festival, locals will have something else on their agenda: scrambling to get tickets to this season's baseball games. Could it be that a team from our hometown is actually, gasp, good?

Don't count your chickens yet - we all know there is a curse laying upon other DC sports teams. But could the Nationals be the ones to break it?

Whatever the case, DC has always been known for its loyal fans, no matter how bad the Redskins or the Wizards may be. We don't hop on other bandwagons. We stick to our teams, our town. We faithful fans have been let down on many occasions - but we will never betray our teams.

For the first time in 33 summers, baseball has once again returned to Washington. And even after those 33 dark years, the fans still exist. This summer we will have a main focus on our minds - baseball, baseball, baseball. So get out your new cap, order your tickets, grab your glove, and I'll be seeing you at RFK this summer.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Britney Moves To Reality TV

Jessica and Nick have called it quits - for their MTV reality show "Newlyweds" that is - with tabloid suspicions that a break up of their marraige is underway as well. Which leaves room for pop princess Britney Spears and her new party hubby Kevin Federline to take the stage for a new reality show that will air on UPN later this year. Despite recent tabloid rumors of a pregnancy and marital strife, along with a recent posting on her website declaring her utter hate for tabloid magazines, these newlyweds have decided to step into the lime light once again to publicize their seven-month old marriage. The press lease claims that "personal home videos" will be used to display their "love story"... which makes me wonder why it's not being aired late-night on HBO.

I can't wait to watch Brit and Bit-Bit bum around her mansion all day long while hubby is out gettin slammed and spilling money out of his pockets.

What can I say, that's classy for TV these days.

Just call me Ms. Morbid...

Peter Jennings, ABC's World News Tonight anchor and senior editor, announced today that he has lung cancer. He will be recieving out patient treatment next week. This news is minor compared to that of the events and deaths of last week. As if Terri Schiavo and Johnnie Cochran were keeping the media and public busy enough, the Pope passed away Saturday evening at the Vatican. How perfectly fitting for that old saying of "famous people die in threes."

Since it appears that some of our most highly publicized figures and faces are dropping like flies, what better time than to introduce SolidAlliance Corp's new Ghostradar - a ghost detector that flashes and beeps when it senses unusual magnetic waves. They will be making their apperance in the U.S. soon, and have already set foot in Japan. For those who want to get in touch with the "other side" - or need to consult Johnnie Cochran for your next trial - it might come useful. Otherwise, it looks like it's just going to be another good chew toy for your dog.

And lastly, I couldn't help but read on Kelly Ann Collin's about the celebrities who have herpes. As if we aren't celebrity obsessed enough, but now we have their VD's on public display. Now if that doesn't make you happy that you aren't famous, I don't know what will.