Thursday, May 26, 2005

Bend Over, Baby

Nope, this isn’t one of those blogs with a pun in the title just to catch your attention. It’s very literal… A friend of mine just emailed me an IM conversation that he had with his girlfriend… And I am cracking up over it.

To be honest, I’m not sure it’s appropriate to go along with the tone of this blog… but ya know, it’s our blog and we do what we want! I just had to paste it because 1) I think it’s hilarious and 2) for some reason it’s seemed to be a hot topic for a few of my friends recently. It’s all about his desire to take a trip to a little place sometimes referred to as “Browntown”.

I do have both parties consent to post this (they both think it'll be funny to see another person’s point-of-view on the issue) and, obviously, screen names have slightly been altered for privacy purposes…

MSU Pymp28: hey. u know what i was thinking about
Sunfluff8: what's up?
MSU Pymp28: i think we should try again
Sunfluff8: try what?
MSU Pymp28: ...
Sunfluff8: not an IM mind reader her babe
Sunfluff8: here*
MSU Pymp28: ...
Sunfluff8: ok we're playing a guessing game?
MSU Pymp28: ok. it's something i love and u said u'd eventually give another try
Sunfluff8: omg
Sunfluff8: you're talking about up the butt aren't you
MSU Pymp28: yup
Sunfluff8: are you kidding??!
MSU Pymp28: no
Sunfluff8: ok first of all - we are on IM and at work. we can't be having this convo now. let's talk about it tonight
MSU Pymp28: well i want you to think about it for tonite
Sunfluff8: babe come on. i have work to do AND god forbid my boss happens to walk by
Sunfluff8: what's the interest suddenly PICKING BACK UP FOR?
Sunfluff8: (sorry about the caps i hit lock on accident)
MSU Pymp28: it's not 'picking back up'. it's been there the whole time just as strong bt u said u needed time to recoop
Sunfluff8: yeah from last time
MSU Pymp28: it wasn't thatbad
Sunfluff8: you weren't the one with the large object in your outhole
MSU Pymp28: lol
Sunfluff8: not funny

MSU Pymp28: i just dont rmemeber u saying it was THAT painful
Sunfluff8: well it was
Sunfluff8: well kindof. i guess not really
MSU Pymp28: ?

Sunfluff8: it's not too bad pain i guess... but it's also a weird feeling
MSU Pymp28: what do u mean?

Sunfluff8: ok well u might get grossed out and not even want to do it anymore
MSU Pymp28: i doutb it

Sunfluff8: ok
Sunfluff8: it's also that it made me feel like i was about to go...
Sunfluff8: u know. to the bathroom
Sunfluff8: are u there
Sunfluff8: ?
MSU Pymp28: it's all about the muscle control baby

Sunfluff8: WHAT
MSU Pymp28: just playin kindof. ;-)
MSU Pymp28: u will like it i promise
Sunfluff8: i didn't last time
MSU Pymp28: that lasted for 30 sec
Sunfluff8: doesn't matter
MSU Pymp28: ull like it
Sunfluff8: how do u know?
MSU Pymp28: honestly?
Sunfluff8: no lie to me... tard
MSU Pymp28: lexi liked it better than regular
Sunfluff8: don't bring her into this
MSU Pymp28: well i hear most girls end up loving it
Sunfluff8: and that doesn't help your cause
Sunfluff8: because lexi is a SLUT
MSU Pymp28: sweetie i dated her for 2 years thats not slutt
MSU Pymp28: y
Sunfluff8: fine. want me to start filling u in on how much funi had with my ex?
MSU Pymp28: nm
Sunfluff8: fine
MSU Pymp28: u like fingers
Sunfluff8: what
MSU Pymp28: in there
Sunfluff8: totally different
MSU Pymp28: its really not
Sunfluff8: *{name here}** I am no longer in the mood to discuss this
MSU Pymp28: y? b/c of lexi?
Sunfluff8: REALLY not helping your cause
MSU Pymp28: fine then i dont want to have sex anymore
Sunfluff8: what?
MSU Pymp28: well u wont even consider an*l
Sunfluff8: what does that have to do with not having sex anymore???
MSU Pymp28: well wouldnt u be frustrated if u really wanted to get laid and i never wanted to
Sunfluff8: u have been too tired to do it before

MSU Pymp28: yea like 2 times. i mean NEVER
Sunfluff8: i don't know

Sunfluff8: i bet i could get you to f*** me
Sunfluff8: easily
MSU Pymp28: oh yea what woud u do
Sunfluff8: well.

MSU Pymp28: yea
Sunfluff8: wait

Sunfluff8: i'm not cybering with u while we're at work
MSU Pymp28: dammit
Sunfluff8: nice tri though

Sunfluff8: try*
MSU Pymp28: yea
Sunfluff8: so is an*l a normal part of people's sex lives now?

MSU Pymp28: i wish it was for ours

... I have to stop here because it's so long & is kinda repetitive from here on. I just thought it was funny and thought I'd share it.


At 6:09 PM, Blogger Elvis said...

Sara. You. Made. My. Year.

Funniest post ever.

We've all had this discussion at one point or another. We've all been there. I thought I was the only one to be diabolical enough to try the reverse psychology sh*t. It's a bold statement though, to post it for the world. Sweet Jesus, bless your heart.

At 7:20 PM, Anonymous shay said...

sara, that was way great, but ps to your man friend if he wants butt sex he so lost his chance when he brought up the EX, i mean come on who does that?!!!

At 8:49 PM, Blogger Ruben said...

This is quite hilarious. If he figures out how to get her to like it please contact me. I would pay for that knowledge! A million men would. Not sure why though...I just think that we enjoy doing things that are generally forbidden. My fiance is 10 years younger than me and super tight but still....gotta love the butt love! :-) Thanks for the laughs!

At 11:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


At 6:44 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Advice for Sunfluff8: move on. Never do something you don't really want to and not feel comfortable with just to satisfy someone's desires. And no, an*l is not a normal part of sex lives for everybody. Some like it, some don't. You have right to choose.

At 8:39 AM, Anonymous jessica cutler said...

Oh my gawd that is sooo nasty! Ewww!

At 9:18 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's such a taboo topic and to put it out there makes us realize that hey, you and your significant other aren't the only ones talking about it! Very, very bold to put out there ~ it's raw, hilarious, and the best part - it's real. We have def. ALL been there before.

At 9:24 AM, Blogger Sara said...

elvis - :) Thanks! However, I wasn't too concerned about posting the bold statement as I'm not so sure this lil blog's quite got the world reading it... yet ;)

shay - yeah he did kinda drop the ball when he brought up the ex. i told him the same

ruben - i think you're right about so many guys wondering about that very secret... congrats on your engagement!

At 11:01 AM, Blogger Elvis said...

Sara, what gives with the "work until you're dead" thing? It's rumored you're in the mine-shaft 13 hours a day, working this weekend even. Maybe you're a lawyer, in which case, understood. Still. I feel for you -- esp w/ 3 day weekend at our doorstep.

As for bringing up the ex thing, Restatement of Contracts, §§ 71 and 81; § 71 sez that you must not bring up the ex in "relations"; § 81 sez that you must not bring up the ex in acquisition of butt sex. Okay, I might be misinterpreting the law.

At 11:11 AM, Blogger Nony Mitchell said...

Interesting post and I have to say that I agree with what anonymous said...only do what you are comfortable may eventually want to try that area of sexual play again...but don't do it just because...

That being said...after bringing up the ex, I would say there should be a technical foul on the play and there should be at least a two week penalty...

At 11:24 AM, Blogger Sara said...

elvis - it is the truth. i will be working until AT LEAST 7 every day for the next week and have been this week as well. And yes, unfortunately I will be working this weekend :(

I wish I was a lawyer, however I'm in marketing and a huge project is underway right now. Yuck

spiritdancerq- good call with the penalty :)

At 11:50 AM, Blogger Elvis said...

Wow. Well, alright. Since you're working like it's going out of style, here are some thoughts from previous post (Titans cheerleaders):

1. $100 Parking ticket -- Take magic marker and make "Parking" into "Packing". Hopefully, Court Clerk may dismiss this. If that fails, ask if you can pay ticket on lay-away, "...just like at Wal-Mart".
2. Working 13 hour days for next two weeks -- bring in life-size card-board cut out of yourself, leave it at your desk, go shopping. Done.
3. Working Memorial Day weekend -- Tell your boss you're transferring Memorial Day to June 20. That'll show her/him.
4. Frizzing hair cause weather -- Tie fishing tackle weight to end of every strand; after 8 hours, you'll have straight hair (and sore neck).
5. Didn't quit smoking -- Time to move up to Camel's, unfiltered.

At 11:57 AM, Blogger Lil DC Diva said...

haha Elvis I'm coming to your when I need advice on bad days :-)

At 12:01 PM, Blogger Lil DC Diva said...


At 11:49 AM, Blogger AMS said...

oh holy fuck - i can't believe they let you print that!

At 3:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Easier way to get to this point. Make a crazy bet like jumping into a river somewhere out of no where and make the anal sex the condition of it. If he really wants it and does something like that, my bet is she'll put out. Otherwise, ask nicely. What idiot brings up his gf when he's trying to get something he wants? 2 week penalty, doubt that, but still it is a penalty and will result in a one-handed retreat for a few days.

At 6:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


Seriously though: Alcohol and a lot of good sex first = Anal sex later.

In other words Anal sex wanting guy: Multiple Orgasm FIRST, anal sex is guaranteed.

At 7:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i say tell him ok ... but you go first ... i always wanted a three way with another guy ... you can do me and he can do you?

you still want it?


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