Tuesday, May 31, 2005

How To Date A D.C. Woman

1. Refrain from talking about your job or my job. You live in D.C. and so do I. We both have good jobs, but I don't care if you just closed a billion dollar deal for whatever government agency nor do you care about my most recent purchase at Neiman Marcus. There is much more we can talk about, and if there isn't, we shouldn't be dating in the first place.

2. When you are with me, you should have full attention focused on me. Staring at or checking out other girls in my presence is inappropriate behavior and will not be tolerated. When I am with you, I should feel like the sexiest and smartest woman you know, and that's your job to make me feel that way.

3. My friends are very important to me. Take time to get to know them, as I will take time to get to know yours.

4. All women need a girls night out, just as guys do. Instead of chugging beer, playing poker, and talking about boobs, we choose to get our nails done, drink a few martinis, and harmlessly scope out cute guys at the bar. (Because we know when you aren't with us you check out hot girls too.)

5. Refrain from talking about your ex's. They are all sluts in our eyes. And don't EVER, under any circumstance, compare us to one of them.

6. Do not ever push our heads down or grab them like a toy. It's insulting and uncomfortable. My nickname isn't "Deep Throat." We deserve to be gently caressed, softly touched, and sweetly kissed, unless told otherwise.

7. A sense of humor is a must, as long as you know where to draw the line. Playful joking is fine but when there are any references made to our weight, looks, friends, or anything else personal, it's no longer funny.

8. A little romance goes a long way, don't be afraid to get creative. Dinner and drinks is nice, but unoriginal. If we like you, clearly you must be intelligent, so put that brain to work and start coming up with new ways to romance us.

9. If we like you enough and have been dating you for a considerable amount of time, we'd like to meet your family. The saying goes that the way a man treats his mom is the way he will treat his wife (or girlfriend for that matter.) So make us proud.

10. Call us old-fashioned, but we always like to be courted. Be it you calling us, coming over to see us, or even opening the car door for us - you making the first move says a lot about your confidence and that you aren't lazy about being in a relationship. You're a manly man and not afraid about showing us that you care what we think...because your actions truly show us how you feel.


This posting was created by both butterflies :-)

46 Comments:

At 2:56 PM, Blogger V said...

Nice post ladies, I plan on forwarding this on to several gents I know.

 
At 2:59 PM, Anonymous Lauren said...

I love it- especially #1. Great job girls!

 
At 3:21 PM, Blogger Buddha Bong said...

The fact that you have a Top 10 list for dating you or any DC woman sets the tone....

High Maintenance!!!!


http://hatleyman.blogspot.com/

 
At 3:44 PM, Anonymous Adam Smith said...

We, men of the free world, refuse to accept your dating policy. Try to find a slave somewhere else and stay smart but alone the rest of your life. So be it!

 
At 3:46 PM, Blogger Lil DC Diva said...

I'd MUCH rather be high maintinence than low class. DC women are refined, classy, intelligent, and hard workers, with a brilliant sense of humor, and will only accept (and deserve) to be treated as such.

 
At 3:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey hatleyman and adam smith: Consider this blog a great service and heed her advice. Newsflash- every woman deserves this kind of respect.

 
At 4:15 PM, Blogger Elvis said...

Thanks Diva and Sara for a quick rundown, good reminders all round. But still thinking it's a bit introductory. For example, the creative thing -- a basic is getting a picnic assortment, a row-boat and rowing around the lake, with a boom-box playing Jazz. When I asked for the advance syllabus, I meant things like "when we [women] leave foundation/mascara on your bathroom countertops, don't give us grief; just clean it later when we're not around" (that's why you keep a sponge on the counter-top). Most things, we already know (ie, "keep a spare, new toothbrush in the cabinet for us"), but some things, aren't so apparent ("if all you have is VO5 shampoo, you may want to expand the collection, preferably with lavender extract in them"; incentive for her to stick around instead of having to go home, etc.). Again, there are a ton of things many guys miss -- at least the greenhorns. Again, good checklist though.

 
At 4:33 PM, Blogger Sara said...

Elvis, it's wonderful that you can see past this list and want more detail because, you're right: it is very basic.

But this post was more to reach those silly (perhaps slightly pathetic?) boys who can't quite realize that this list is, for the most part, simple common sense...

 
At 4:55 PM, Blogger Cleveland Park Men's Club said...

RE: "I'd MUCH rather be high maintinence than low class."

Are you sure about that?

 
At 5:27 PM, Blogger Sara said...

CPMC: What do you mean? Who wouldn't rather be high maintenance than low class?

Now, I'm not saying that Diva or me are completely high maintenance, but we are a little bit and every girl should be... A high maintenance girl strives for the best. She knows exactly what she wants and won't settle for less.

However, low class = no class =trashy... (in my mind...)

 
At 5:31 PM, Blogger Lil DC Diva said...

CPMC: Aren't you the group of men who claim to treat ladies with respect? A woman who is high matience knows how she wants to be treated, and apparently you all are the men who know how to treat her that way. Are you not? My idea was that classy women deserve classy treatment - and from reading your "dating" blogs you seem to represent that respect. So yes, I am SURE of how I deserve to be treated, and I hope that men who write about it are pretty sure as well!

 
At 5:43 PM, Blogger Elvis said...

If your enumeration counts as high maintenance, then I know plenty of guys who are high maintenance as well ("Sweetie, have you seen my Porter jersey? I can't watch the Steelers without the lucky #55... and God Damnit, where is the drinking helmet?"). However, I'd say your list is basic. Basic common sense.

 
At 6:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Question on #6...is it ok to run one's fingers through your hair when receiving...um...oral pleasure?

 
At 6:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

And how soon is too soon to send her an IM requesting anal sex?

 
At 6:31 PM, Blogger H said...

Back to the low class/high maintenance comments.

Think of it this way...

High Maintenance = The likes of Jackie Kennedy, Princess Di, Grace Kelly, Audrey Hepburn, and a slew of classy celebs like Catherine Zeta Jones and Reese Witherspoon.

Low Class = Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, RuPaul, Joan Rivers, and Paris Hilton.

Im sorry, I would rather be high maintenance anyday!

 
At 7:20 PM, Blogger The Senator said...

Sorry...it was misread.

High maintenance vs. low CLASS...

Some of us would rather have low maintenance to be sure.

But, you ladies rock on, and we will slowly exit stage left. Humblest apologies...

 
At 7:46 PM, Blogger sassyassy said...

High maintenance rules! If he doesn't like it, he can keep moving along. Love the tips!

 
At 8:29 PM, Blogger roosh said...

you got the title of your post all wrong. i think you meant "The Slow Way For A DC Man To Get Laid". not much to disagree with though.

"DC women are refined, classy, intelligent, and hard workers, with a brilliant sense of humor, and will only accept (and deserve) to be treated as such."

lol most of them aren't, though i think you were referring to yourself

 
At 8:47 PM, Blogger Lil DC Diva said...

The girls I know and have met are full of class. (Including myself, thank you.)

And in our high-matience world, if you follow our list of "The Slow Way For A D.C. Man To Get Laid," you will get a lot more gratification than just sex. We're worth the wait. All women are, and if a guy doesn't think so, he is the one not worth it anyway.

 
At 9:39 PM, Blogger KOB said...

fun post, direct and well written. I'm going to share a link on dcblogs.

 
At 9:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Back to the group showers for you DCB.

Try again later.

 
At 11:19 PM, Blogger The Blonde said...

So hot. I love it.

I guess I'm just now discovering that the old "what school do you go to?" is now being replaced by "what do you do?" Saying I'm an intern, or WORSE, unemployed, is not uber impressive.

And I hate talking about work. I really don't care and shit doesn't impress me. Saying you make XXX amount of money will not make you taller or your schlong longer. So just work on being real and treating me nicely, because that's what I'm focusing on.

 
At 11:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So my honest question re: #6 doesn't merit an answer????

 
At 11:43 PM, Blogger A Unique Alias said...

This strikes me as presumptuous. Any man who needs such a guide is probably not going to be of much of a companion, and one who knows it but doesn't abide by it obviously doesn't think that whoever he's dating is that great.

I agree with DCB, in that the title is wrong. It should be called "How to Date in DC." There really isn't a need for gender specificity there . . . except on #6. Chances are good that if you're with a guy who doesn't mind going down, he's not going to mind the encouragement. Granted, the gag reflex never kicks in for us, so that’s different. Everything else applies, though. When a woman takes some initiative (#10), it shows that the man’s efforts on one through nine are being appreciated.

While all of that is straightforward, you have to rate guys based on their ability to do these ten things without prompting. No helpful hints from Heloise will change the level of respect that a person has for you.

 
At 1:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

An interesting synopsis. However it is obvious you are not familiar with the Paris Hilton Mexican Omelette auto-reflex gag syndrome inherant in every male psyche.

 
At 8:24 AM, Anonymous steph said...

About the #6.... Running fingers through our hair is just fine - it lets us know you're enjoying yourself.

actually, when my man gets close, he puts pressure on my head 1- to let me know just the right pressure/tempo to top him off with and 2- as somewhat of a warning that he's close... i don't mind that a bit

 
At 10:04 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Girls are difficult to read, in which case - guys sometimes appreciate being prompted on their desires. All men should have respect for a woman, and these "prompts" are good suggestions on how to treat her as such.

 
At 12:46 PM, Blogger The Brunette said...

Those tips arent high maintenance - they're COMMON SENSE!

Silly boys, believing anything less than basic common courtesy and a little heart and thought are acceptable =)

 
At 3:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ponders, how do you escape number 1 if the first question your girlfriend asks you when you get home is, 'how was work?' Cmon, you know you do that. I'm assuming we're supposed to be passe and simply say, 'oh work was great, but tell me about shopping!'

I'm willing to give my gf my full attention and treat her the best i can, but it is because she treats me equally well and goes with me to a sports game, to a brewery, and such. So the list is fine to abide by so long as women are understanding of guys wants and needs since it is a two-way street. The high maintainence ladies are the ones who ignore all of your wants and needs and suggest the whole world is her and her friends (and there are plenty of them).

And us looking at hot women does not detract from our desires for you. Think about it, if it really did detract then we'd breakup with you and go for them. So don't worry about it.

 
At 5:02 PM, Blogger Sara said...

anon, you sound like a pretty decent boyfriend :)

In number one, we were referring to the guys you meet out who brag about what they do and how much money they make to try to impress us. Work talk in a relationship is different because you would care more about what they do and what their days are like!

 
At 12:52 PM, Blogger Buddha Bong said...

Ok, I was joking. But as a man...I will post a response to each of your 10...

1) I have learned much about my spose through hearing about what she does at her job and how she reacts. I use these examples on how to deal with her on a daily basis.

2) I should not have to make you feel that you are the smartest or the prettiest. You should have the confidence in yourself to know that I am with you...that should speak volumes. But as I am a creture of habit, I will look. I am a man. As a woman, I know you do so as well - do not deny it. I will refrain from making remarks...that is suicide to not keep it in your head.

3) As long as your friends do not try to get between us, bring them into our lives. Those that are single and are a bad influence - go find someone else to ruin. If they are man haters - cast them away. Muy friends should be the same...bad influences need to be forgotten.

4) You should have a girl's night out - JUST LEARN TO CONTROL YOURSELF. This will help us trust you.

5) Get over it. You are the one in our lives now. If they were perfect, why are we with you?

6) I have never done this, so I am going to follow your rules.


7) You need to be able to laugh at yourself. A Stalin-esch girlfriend gets boring very, very quickly.

8) It goes both ways. Please do not change. Keep us interested too.

9) Why not meet the family? I agree with you. Only after a month of dating though. Pressure sucks.

10) Could not agree more.


http://hatleyman.blogspot.com/

 
At 12:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who TF do you skanks think you are? High class??? I seriously doubt it. Respecting a woman that DESERVES it fine ..... DEMANDING it like you are ordering a meal (which most of you could probably skip anyway) just shows how low class you bitches are. You are the reason that websites such as nomarriage.com exist. Go there & learn something you low-rent femi-nazi's.

 
At 9:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The following are what real American men think about you & your high maintenance, unrealistic friends:

American women..
- highest maintenance (I've never heard of a foreign bride demanding her husband buy expensive house & cars)
- fattest in the world
- most likely to cheat
- highest rate of divorce (60% - US-US marriages; 20% - US-foreign marriages)
- largest payout in divorce court (you'll be ass-raped for everything you earned, plus most of what you will earn for years to come)
- bitchiest
- most likely to nag constantly
- most likely to believe in feminism and "equality"
- most likely to hate men
- spend least amount of time with her children
- worst at cooking and cleaning
- fucked & chucked by tons of guys before tricking you into marriage


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

3 reasons to marry an American woman

You actually believe BBW = big BEAUTIFUL wife.
You believe nagging is essential for personal growth.
You really look forward to the day your BBW wife divorces you and you gladly fork over 50% over your hard earned assets, plus child support and alimony (a lard ass bitch for sure is not going to have a good job). Then after that you have to figure out how to live on 20% of your income.

 
At 9:38 AM, Blogger Sara said...

hahahahahah wow. a little harsh, don't ya think?

But you're really Especially posting anonymously. On a site that's been "on a break" for a LONG time. That would make me want to call you a word that starts with a "p"... but I guess I have too much class.

Anyway. As I'm sure you can tell, I'm crushed by your words.

Thanks for coming out. Now go back to whatever hole you came from.

 
At 2:41 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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Golovelife.com

 
At 7:28 PM, Blogger GJ said...

You are better off if you find something in common, rather than trying to figure out how to simply get along. Check out mirl.com which focuses on shared interests.

 
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At 8:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

its funny that you ask the guy has eyes only for you, and then you go out with your girlfriends and "harmlessly scope out cute guys at the bar". can't ask a guy not to eye that girl with the low cut top and then imagine yourself with every other guy at the local bar.

 

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