Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Baby It Ain't Over Til It's Over...

So there is this guy that I dated (I use the term loosely) awhile back. He went to school at Brown, I went to school in Virginia...we just weren't geographically compatible. But, we did become very close and see each other on breaks for a little over a year. In the end, we just lost touch and haven't spoken much the past three years. It was a variety of factors, mainly that he stopped being online so much, he didn't have a cell phone, and well, I was still trying to make things work with my ex boyfriend from high school. I wasn't ready for another relationship yet. Frankly, I'm not even sure I can classify the Brown boy as a relationship.

So, now he's back. He's here for the summer doing an internship for graduate school. He's online again, and I send him an IM here and there to be friendly. "Hi, how are you, how is life?" That kind of thing. Sometimes we chit chat and other times he ignores me. It's those times he ignores me that burns. It's not that I want to really rekindle any flame, or to make him want me again, it's more that I feel I need closure. I want something good to come of it. It would be nice to be friendly with him. I don't know what the driving force is behind my need to see him again, but I know that it's definitely driving me crazy. I have to restrain myself from scaring him off, almost like it's a new crush I'm really excited about. But, the thing is, he's not new. Well, he's changed, as have I - and maybe that is what I want him to see. We've both grown up since freshmen/sophomore year of college. I think it would be nice to see what has developed.

I hope he comes around and will want to get together for drinks one night and catch up. I suggested we should and he agreed. Then he proceeded to cut the conversation short (damn people who actually WORK at work). He was probably just being polite. I will always think of him fondly no matter what happens, and hope that he thinks the same. For now though, I'll try not think about him too much, or make it into something it is not. Maybe I should just let it go and give up. But sometimes, don't you just have to wonder, what might have been?


At 2:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

sounds like my life.

IM friend... nothing
IM friend... nothing
bah.. screw off then

ten minutes later...
[her] hiiiiiii sexy!


At 5:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You sound a little desperate.

At 7:13 PM, Blogger Asian Mistress said...

Anon 1 - don't you hate it when that happens? Haha.

Anon 2 - obviously you missed the point of trying to reconnect with a person you shared a great connection with. I'm not trying to date him or sleep with him, simply want to catch up and be on good terms. If not, no loss - but if you never try, you never know. I'm sure many people can identify with that logic.


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