Thursday, June 23, 2005

The game

So, I was having a pretty rough time with this break up... and it didn't make much sense to me because we only dated a few months and I wasn't happy in the relationship for a while anyway. Although we still cared for each other, I broke up with him - and should have been fine. I've ended things with plenty of people and I'm always fine. But this time I wasn't and I could not, for the life of me, figure out why. And then, at about 10:30 last night, it hit me.

I couldn't get over the relationship because of the game. And by this I don't mean the chase - you know... you like someone until they like you back and then lose interest... I hate those games. What I mean is that I'm competitive and, I can admit it, sometimes I am a sore loser. I hate to lose and I really hate to quit. And I had to give up on a relationship that I cared about while we both still cared about each other, which to me is like quitting at half time.

It's not that it was a relationship composed of opposing teams (which I've had before, and trust me, it ain't fun). It was more that the team could not keep their eyes on the same ball. We had the spark to make it work, you know... like a good team spirit... but we played by different rules and different strategies. And we were both so set on the way that we felt the game should be played that we couldn't really come together as a team.

This is similar to my first year on the dance team in college. Every girl had AMAZING talent, but as we'd all come from different studios, we all had different styles and had a really hard time cleaning routines so that we "danced as one". (Even though we didn't quit and ended up having a KICK ASS team...)

There's some saying about if you name something that you're really afraid of, you'll be half way closer to getting over that fear (or something along the lines). Well, this works in a similar fashion. Now that I understand what's been upsetting me about the whole thing, I can breathe so much easier. I feel 100% better and can accept, this once, quitting gracefully at half time instead of turning out to be a losing team.

On a side note, my next "teammate" will be reading my rule book before making the cut ;) (JK... kind of...)


At 10:59 AM, Blogger roosh said...

you'll call him within two weeks "just to say hi".

At 11:08 AM, Blogger Sara said...

Oh, I might call him. But that will be because we've spoken since the break up and agreed that, while the relationship was no good, we're important to each other and will stay friends.

I can guarantee that it will have nothing to do with that lost, longing, want-you-back type of phone call which I would never make in the first place.

At 11:40 AM, Blogger DC Cookie said...

It's the same feeling as finding out your ex has happily moved on to someone else. You think - "wait...I broke up with HIM!" Just have to remember why you did it, that's all, and keeping looking for the right guy.

At 12:24 PM, Blogger Elvis said...

Sorry to hear about the breakup. I'm gone 6 days and Sara goes with a Lebanese valentines. Well, I'm sorry. Especially for the "Okay" comment. Like team sports, it might have looked good on paper, but you gotta have chemistry. I guess if he wasn't down with the best practices, then... well, I'm sorry.

Glad to see you're doing well... though DC Diva has to pry the bottles of Jack Daniels and Jose Cuervo from each of your hands (nice pics from the beach).

At 12:35 PM, Anonymous bk said...

Sometimes teams work better with more than 2 people. JK...

At 1:16 PM, Blogger Rock Creek Rambler said...

There's no "I" in team, but there is an "M" and an "E." Um, yeah, that's all I got today.

At 11:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

In some instances I think it's appropriate to let someone know that they're amazing even if you don't feel you can be with them. That's all you need to convey; and I don't mean that in some sort of half-ass "it's not you it's me" sort of way, or for any sort of closure. Personally, I don't ever want to hurt any feelings and occasionally you need someone you to know that you appreciate them, whether you're with them or not.

At 8:48 AM, Blogger Johnny said...

you are a sexy sexy sexy grrrl who will pass this little speedbump with flying colors.

and a manicure.

and a spa treatment.

and a new kate spade purse.


At 9:33 AM, Blogger Johnny said...

btw, the link to

how-to-date-a-DC-woman is dead.


At 12:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dead? what do you mean dead? The link works fine!


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