Thursday, June 30, 2005

The ghosts of relationships past...

Yes, this is long... I do have too much time on my hands... but my boss is out today... So I can play :)

So there's some saying about how you take something with you from every relationship that you have.... Something about footprints being left permanently on your heart or some crap like that.

Well, I got to thinking about it last night and I realized that it's true. My past three boyfriends have spanned over a period of almost 5 years. And each of them has truly left an impression on me... about my driving skills. Yep. That's right. My driving skills. Lessons in driving are the lessons I quite possibly will remember the most from my past relationships*.

Let's take BF#1. We dated, for the first time, about 5 years ago. It was a summer thing, or supposed to be, and instead I fell pretty hard for him... on accident. (I say for the first time because we have this bad tendency every couple of years to re-open the wound... never again though, I swear**!) OK, but blah blah... I know you don't want a relationship recap... Basically, back then I was TERRIFIED of driving on the beltway. I was freaked out about merging and switching lanes, etc. Well he would always tease me (in a sweet sort of way) and tell me there was nothing to it and explain little tricks to make it easier.

Well, we were over by the time I had to start driving on the beltway, but it was his words in my head that helped me to talk myself through it for the first few times I that merged on and changed lanes. Now, it doesn't faze me at all. And it's thanks, for a large part, to BF#1's encouragement and tips.

And onto BF#2. The college sweetheart. He was the guy that steered clear from relationships, but tons of girls wanted to be with. So of course I had to have him... You know how it goes. And I got him. And we were in a fairly serious relationship for a couple years +. He got a dui and lost his license for a little while. So I did a fair amount of driving. And I will never forget his gasp in horror because I was slow to break behind some guy on the highway. I won't lie... I did cut it pretty close, but only because he was so far ahead of me and I didn't realize that he was breaking so hard. And BF#2 taught me right then and there (although he yelled, which pissed me off) that no matter what, if the car in front of you breaks, you should too because you never know how quickly they're breaking. And now, I stick to that rule (most of the time).

And, finally, BF#3. The most recent. Now, we only dated a few months, but it was still a fun relationship and I did learn from him. You see, there is only parallel parking in front of his place. So, in the beginning, (you know, that time when you go WAY out of your way to be sweet to someone), when I would come over, he would come out and park my car for me. As I had no parallel parking skills whatsoever, it was very nice of him. However, after a while, he kind of got fed up with it, especially because I was over a lot, and made me fend for myself. (And I don't blame him; who wouldn't get sick of always having to park someone else's car for them?) So, in effect, if I wanted to go to his place, which I did, I had to learn to do it alone. And, guess what... I did. So, thanks to BF#3 I can now parallel park***.

If my next BF (which, as I have no desire to be in anything serious for a LONG time, I won't have for while) follows suit, perhaps he can help with the following: 1) I still don't know how to drive stick and 2) I need some serious help with my speeding (recently two speeding tickets in less than a month... not so good).

You know, along these lines and what the Brunette wrote about, I also have to thank past boyfriends for some of my sports teams... BF#2 got me hooked on Ohio State football... and BF#3 got me cheerin' for the Cubbies... (I especially love Carlos Zambrano & Derek Lee)... although the Nat's will always own my heart. The thing is, although relationships come and go, I'm not a sellout to my sports teams. With all their rough seasons, I've never given up on the Redskins... So, likewise, just because I'm no longer with those who taught me about the Buckeyes or the Cubs, I won't give up on those teams either! I still sleep in BF#2's old Ohio State shirt... but I don't even think of him when I do... I barely remember it as being his... Instead, I actually think about how the team may do next year...

* Obviously, I'm kidding here. This post isn't really intended to trivialize anything I had with any of my BFs... I just think it's funny that I can pinpoint a driving skill back to each one.
** I say this every time - but I'm serious now :)
*** Now, I'm not the best parallel parker in the world, and I may have to pull up and back in a few times before positioning myself correctly, but I still can do it and that's what counts in my book


At 11:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ohman this is great. Now i'm thinking back to exs about similar things I learned from them

At 12:07 PM, Blogger Elvis said...

With your style, sis, the duck-walking, head-bobbin, luscious hair tossing, I'd expect your next BF to show you how to fly ("watch the throttle, and check your wings before you turn"), how to dock a boat ("it's forward,, turn, reverse"), and how to structure real estate mortgages ("stay away from interest only products... unless it's preconstruction"). Hell, everyone I know and their mothers are now "real estate moguls". Many are getting their GF's into the game. Driving was the tip of the iceberg. Someday, you're gonna be like, "thanks to BF#5, I own two apartment buildings."

At 12:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

drive in left lane, pull over and let mr. porsche 911 pass you and fly down the road at 95 mph, because he is the one the cops will go after.

if you're in a dire emergency, call #77 or whatever and tell them you saw mr. porsche going southbound (you're northbound) waving a gun. all the cops will immediately go the other direction and walla!! :p

At 2:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you're a bitch. i hope your exes don't read this blog to see that all they meant to you was driving skills.

At 2:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't think she meant that in her past relationships all she got from them were driving skills. I think she was just stating the example how every relationship you take a little something from each one and that was just one of her examples.

At 2:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

anon 2:40 - you're probably one of sara's bitter ex boyfriends...hehehe

At 3:02 PM, Blogger Sara said...

um... read my *

here, i'll help.

" * Obviously, I'm kidding here. This post isn't really intended to trivialize anything I had with any of my BFs... I just think it's funny that I can pinpoint a driving skill back to each one."

At 4:12 PM, Blogger DC Cookie said...

I got a discounted gold's gym membership from it!

At 5:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

2:40 was right.

Clearly, penis size is a much more critical thing to remember them by.


At 5:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

there's ex #2...waiting for #3 to respond and we're golden. muhahaha


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