Tuesday, July 12, 2005

I'm Not a Playa, I just Crush A Lot...Or You're Just a Big Cheater!

I have many pet peeves, but this is probably my biggest one of all and that pet peeve is CHEATERS. I literally do not understand why anyone would do that to another human being. I was cheated on once, but it was way back in high school and so insignificant to the situations of cheating I am hearing about today. People are just so ruthless when it comes to relationships and it absolutely infuriates me.

My biggest question is how a person can look at themselves the same after cheating on someone that they “love?” It literally baffles me. I know of many instances that have taken place in the past couple of years and these people not only cheat on their loved ones, but blatantly lie about it. What is wrong with these people? Do they really have no heart? If you love someone so much, why would you want to put someone in such pain and hurt…and even risk their health? They literally tell themselves that they didn’t do it and continue to carry out this lie to everyone around them. It is truly sick and it is a serious problem that I see many people getting accustomed too.

I would absolutely hate myself if I ever were to do that to someone…I wouldn’t be able to look at them or even look at myself for that matter. So why do these people continue to lie and to tell their significant other that they love them and they can’t live without them…BLAH BLAH BLAH. It literally breaks my heart to see these people doing this to my friends and I am not even in the relationship. Do you think they do it because they know they can get away with it and get the best of both worlds? In some instances, I really believe that is the case, but others I can tell that they really made a mistake, but that still doesn’t constitute as an excuse in my book.

If you are going to cheat or you did cheat on your boyfriend/ girlfriend, for the love of god TELL THEM. It is much easier on the heart and mind to be honest then to lie because once you lie or cheat; you will always lie and cheat if you are not honest about it. I would be heartbroken in my boyfriend cheated on me, but I would much rather him tell me and break up with me, then me finding out months later about it and him to continuously lie about it. These people need to stop being so selfish and grow some balls and do the right thing. Honesty is a key characteristic in every relationship and so is RESPECT.


At 10:45 AM, Blogger Elvis said...

Counselor, are we going anywhere with this? Did something happen to you? Or is this just a predicate?

At 10:46 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think the most important point you make is about risking the other person's health. That is the most dangerous part of cheating.

At 10:52 AM, Blogger Sara said...

Cheating puts other people's health & hearts at risk. I'll never understand it.

I cheated once in high school and, to this day, it's one of my top 3 regrets in life.

I've seen maybe 2 cases where a cheater has reformed, but other than that I really don't believe in second chances where cheating is involved. AND I DEFINITELY don't believe that you truly love somebody if you can cheat on them. It means you don't even know what love means.

On a side note, Elvis - are you coming to our happy hour???

At 10:54 AM, Blogger The Celebutante said...

Ha oh no...nothing happened to me. It unfortunately happens to my good friends, I just get very heated about it.

I completely agree, I guess I should have focused on that a little more in my rampage.

At 10:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you tell them you cheated 6 months later post-break up?

Under your logic, you do.

At 11:03 AM, Blogger The Celebutante said...

My logic is to be honest. I have never cheated and I never will, but it doesn't hurt to be honest does it?

At 11:08 AM, Blogger Sara said...

If you cheat and break up but don't tell the other person that you cheated... Personally, I don't think you should say anything 6 months down the road then either. I know that I wouldn't want to know (unless of course your health was in question).

6 months down the road most likely they've moved on and telling the truth just to alleviate whatever guilt you may be feeling will only throw the other person back emotionally. That's just my opinion though. I believe you should be honest and up front from the start. Actually, I don't believe you should cheat in the first place.

At 11:11 AM, Blogger Lil DC Diva said...

All in all, just don't cheat. It keeps you and your significant other out of lots of trouble and in good health.

Why would someone want to be in a relationship in the first place if they are going to cheat? Where is the logic?

At 11:20 AM, Blogger The Celebutante said...

I agree with Sara, there is no need to tell your ex of 6 months that you cheated unless you know that his/her health is in danger. Other then that don't re-open that door. But to aviod that whole situation, just don't cheat!

At 1:09 PM, Blogger Elvis said...

Whoa... look at all the message traffic since this morning. At last, work obstructs my net life. Pernicious minor thing called work gets in the way of reading interesting stuff.

My original point is more, yes, cheating happens but we mustn't get worked up about it. Let's take it as a given that in life, in healthy relationships, in all things good and pure in America, "cheating", or more aptly, fucking and lying about it, just isn't cool. In fact, it's beyond not cool. As a practical matter, it means you just don't give a damn. If you truly love somebody the whole "I didn't mean to hurt you" thing is not a defense ("I didn't mean to punch you in the mouth and leave you for dead"). Just as I don't believe in rewarding people for not killing others, or in rewarding people for paying their taxes, let's just not work ourselves up about relationship cheaters. It should be a given that you're mature enough to deal with the ones you love.

On a side note, July 20 HH, I'll try to make it (maybe someday I'll even send a real bona-fide email). But schedule is busy, there are alot of things that require action (I just booted out a renter, and had new tenants move into one of my places, a great girl friend of mine is leaving town, etc.)

At 1:28 PM, Blogger The Celebutante said...

I appreciate what you are saying, but in a way this blog was a statement to stick up for all those people out there who have been cheated on. It is probably the worst feeling in the world to know that your lover has betrayed you and it literally feels like your heart is about to explode with sadness. I understand that it happens all the time and it will continue to happen,and we just need to move on and enjoy the people in our lives that really do love us. I just think it would be hard for people to deal with that right away and pretend like nothing happened. I do get a little heated about this topic though because I see how it effects my friends and it breaks my heart to see them so upset. Thank you for your great comment though:)

At 1:48 PM, Blogger Elvis said...

I feel ya on the five finger exploding heart with sadness kung-fu move that cheaters use. We've all seen that kung-fu film, and like famine in Africa, something we really could do without. I mean, I've heard how horrible it is. How absolutely terrible when you're dating someone and and she's cheating on your with her ex, who became an ex cause he cheated on her with her "best-friend" and he was drunk and blah blah... and somehow, she believed he'd changed, and he made a HUGE mistake and blah blah. I've only heard. Too much drama? Yah, like good football... drama, you don't change the channel. No drama, you change the channel.

At 6:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Love isn't necessarily exclusive. You can love a lot of people, each in their own special way. Whoever claims otherwise must not have a lot of love to give. And that's their problem, not anyone else's.

At 2:36 PM, Blogger NeverEnough said...

What if you cheat on a real asshole of a guy and then after the relationship is through you can say to yourself, "who cares I cheated on him anyway?" This isn't healthy or illogical thinking I know, but it still feels so, so good.

But I do agree with you and obviously cheating is seriously evil to do to anyone.


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