Wednesday, July 06, 2005

One Non-date Deserves Another

So last night an old friend/ex-boyfriend of mine took me out. We'll just call him J.

So J and I dated years ago. The relationship teetered on the brink of being pretty serious at times. It was a clean break up and it had nothing to do with a loss of feelings on either side. However, over time, those left over feelings faded away in to fond memories and friendship.

So through out the years we've done the whole random email about once a month thing, just to catch up. So when he called me to say that he'd be back in the area for a week and wanted to see me, of course I said yes. It wasn't a date thing... just two friends who haven't laid eyes on each other for years getting together to catch up.

We were only supposed to go out for a few drinks because I had 3 classes at the gym yesterday. But it took me over 2 hours to get home and by that time I'd already lost some pounds due to the 2 hour nonstop stream of curse words and hand motioning while driving. So I skipped classes and called J to see if he wanted to go out earlier. He did. So a few drinks turned into dinner and a few drinks.

He took me to Old Town. Man, that place is certainly underrated. I've been there maybe four times in the past six months and every time I go I'm stuck by how much I love it. We ate at a very nice French restaurant (sorry, I can't remember the name... it must have been drowned from my memory with martinis...) and then we walked along the waterfront for a good 20-30 minutes just talking.

The kicker, though, was when we walked back to his car. I'd had such a good time I was pretty disappointed that the night was coming to an end. But he surprised me and pulled a blanket out of the back seat and we walked back to the grass and sat and talked for a good 30 minutes longer.

It was the best non-date ever.

Or was it really a non-date? Did I get butterflies when I knew he was about to pick me up? Yes. Did we laugh and flirt and kind of jerk shyly away when our hands touched across the table? Yes. Did we heavily reminisce about how good we were together when we used to date? Yes. Was he even hotter than when we used to date (which is quite an accomplishment because he is one of the most attractive people I've ever been with)? Yes. Was there a goodnight kiss? Not really. He kissed my cheek... but that's because I turned my head... hmmm, something to think about I suppose

He called me this morning knowing I'd be on my way to work just to say he had a great time and wants to come back in a couple weeks (he lives in NY, but is moving back to DC in a couple months) and see me again. What a sweetheart.

16 Comments:

At 11:32 AM, Blogger I-66 said...

Seems nice enough but I wonder how non-date the intentions are behind wanting to see you. Personally I haven't made such an overture in a similar situation without thinking that perhaps more than just drinks or dinner or a movie or whatever are in store.

Yes, it's not a date unless both parties agree, but it doesn't mean that one or another isn't thinking that way.

 
At 12:08 PM, Blogger roosh said...

"What a sweetheart."

He spent all that money and all he got was the cheek turn. Poor guy.

I had an ex do that on me once, similar story as you. All I could think was, "But i already had sex with you!" Oh well.

 
At 1:21 PM, Blogger Sara said...

DCB... so are you saying that if a guy spends money on a girl she should consider it a downpayment for some play later on?

 
At 2:20 PM, Blogger roosh said...

no. it's just unpleasant when you spend money and get nothing from a girl you've already been with. you have to be a guy to understand... we tally these costs in our head. i should make a post about this

 
At 2:22 PM, Blogger I-66 said...

oh boy...

 
At 2:25 PM, Blogger Sara said...

dcb, i see what you're saying. but the thing is that he did not ask as a date. he wanted to get together - as friends - and catch up. the night was "date-like" but still... plus i did offer to pay :)

had he said he wanted to take me on a date, (given that we've previously dated) i would have assumed that there would be a kiss in the mix...

 
At 2:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"The relationship teetered"

This made me laugh. :)

 
At 4:01 PM, Blogger Elvis said...

... And the nominations for category of best dates are...

"On the Waterfront"

"It was a non-date"

"we were catching up"

and

"Return of the Non-Date in a couple of Months"

And the winner is... Sara. [clap][clap][clap]

(DCB, dude, money comes and go. Nobody really keeps score. You spend $100 on a date or at a Nats game or getting a tune-up or picking up slack for friends dinner night out or going to the movies or ... life. Come on man, if you are with friends, spend freely. Especially if you're with an awesome girl. You won't get that moment back... so just be into the moment.)

 
At 4:51 PM, Blogger roosh said...

i just read my 9 dating tips and see that i already addressed this issue before:

"9. If you already have had sex with me, please don’t make me have to re-seduce you the next time. It should get easier."

word

 
At 5:39 PM, Blogger Adam said...

wow...

what a bad idea...

it never works out how you want it to...

 
At 6:22 PM, Blogger Sara said...

dcb, when a girl has slept with someone that she's in a relationship with (unless she's morally casual) normally it's because she cares about him and there are mutual feelings of respect and affection.

then when she sees him years later to catch up those feelings are different. it doesn't matter that they were once together. if it's building back up to any sort of relationship it's like starting over. maybe not starting from scratch, but certainly a girl is not just going to fall right back into bed with someone!

adam - what's a bad idea?

 
At 8:56 PM, Blogger Texas Cutie said...

Sounds like a good catch! Props to you for not making it easy. It'll be good for the relationship regardless of whether it ever gets off the ground again.

 
At 2:40 PM, Blogger roosh said...

"certainly a girl is not just going to fall right back into bed with someone!"

I wouldn't date her in the first place if she wasn't that type of girl.

 
At 4:28 PM, Blogger Lil DC Diva said...

DCB - that would explain why you are the permanent "bachelor," eh?

 
At 6:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

can anyone else feel the friction between dc bachelor and sara?

i still think they'd be perfect for eachother.

:p

 
At 6:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i meant to say sexual friction. excuse me

 

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