Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Past-in-a-Box


My room is undergoing major surgery. Aka: I'm finally cleaning and reorganizing it as well as taking care of the 18 bajillion loads of laundry that have been waiting on my floor.

But that is neither here nor there... The basis for that lovely little tidbit of background information is that while I was reorganizing the drawers & shelves in my armoire, I also reorganized the very top shelf. I NEVER touch that shelf. It's where I keep all my Past-in-a-Boxes.

(Past-in-a-Box: The box in which a person collects all past memories of a relationship, including, basically, everything that one simply can not bear to throw away, regardless of the fact that the relationship is over... The box is to be put away and not reopened until said person is strong enough to look at its contents with out wanting to be back together.)*

Now, let me backtrack a little bit. It had been a good 6-8 months since I'd last touched any of my Past-in-a-Boxes. I don't like to dwell on the past and looking at all that stuff tends to make me feel a little bit sappy. So I steer clear of them. But in the past few weeks, my college sweetheart and I have been talking quite a bit. NOT in a romantic sense, but more in a "catching up because we stopped talking for a few months" sense.

See, things were a little bit awkward a few months ago, because he wanted to get back together, but I was just starting to see someone new. And, while I'll always care for him, I knew we didn't work together as a couple. That being said (well... written, I suppose) it was uncomfortable when we would talk on the phone for a while after that - so we stopped talking.

Coincidentally, he called me again for the first time the weekend after my most recent break up. Totally random. We did not, however, speak about my break up. We do not talk about love lives at all. But we certainly talk about EVERYTHING else. And it is really nice to have him back in my life, as a friend.

Personally, once that awkward, freshly broken up/still hurting period is over, I think it's important to stay friends, and if not - at least acquaintences - with whom I've dated. (With the exception of the one boy who ever broke my heart - I think he's scum and could care less if I ever see/talk to him again - His Past-in-a-Box is hidden somewhere that I would not be able to look at it even if I wanted to...) This is because, if you think about it, when you get into a relationship with someone, past just dating, there are obviously reasons why you do so. And while you may not mesh with some people, they still must have values that you respect/admire - otherwise you never would have dated them in the first place.

Blah blah blah. Sorry to go off on such a tangent... My point is that as I'm friends with the college sweetheart once again, I took his Past-in-a-Box and sat down for an hour and went through it all... The cards, the notes, the movie ticket stubs... the sweet, "look how happy we were" pictures (that took me ages to take down after the break up)... and I had the BEST time doing it.

Obviously we had problems, it's why we broke up. But for the longest time I could only look back and see those problems and feel the frusterations that went with them. Now, with the new found friendship and my Past-in-a-Box, I can look back and forget the problems and remember all the great times we had. :-)

Ah, sweet nostalgia...


*I do not have many Past-In-A-Boxes. Only a few. And only those who were VERY near and dear to my heart get one... Things from relationships past that did not last long/did not mean that much all go into one community Past-In-A-Box... I am, I realize, somewhat of a relationship reminder packrat...

3 Comments:

At 4:16 PM, Blogger Swamp Pundette said...

The "Past In A Box"! I have that, but I call it the "Archives", and it's a random jumble of old birthday cards and journals from the 7th grade and elementary school Field Day ribbons and high school medals and photo albums and dead corsages. Mostly old notebooks though.

Ahh, the archives.

 
At 11:02 PM, Blogger Tasha said...

I know exactly what that past-in-a-box is about...I had one myself. I remember after the breakup I used to cry about our broken relationship. Now I just sort of laugh because I don't have those strong feelings anymore

 
At 10:27 AM, Blogger The Captain said...

Is it bad form to have one large "Past in a Box" where I've just thrown in everything from all past relationships?

Is this not allowed, or can you mix like a fine cocktail?

 

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