Friday, July 01, 2005

Wow...Who's That Girl?

The combination of $2 Bud Light, Soco & lime, and lemon drop shots on a Thursday night? Killer. I'm going on 4 hours of sleep and I haven't felt this shitty since college. Mental note: eat dinner before a night of drinking.

Oh man...I was THAT girl last night. Apparently I was all over the two guys I like. Yeah, two. I didn't make out with anybody, or try to (thank God) - but all my coworkers definitely saw me with arms around a certain two and now I'm sure all know my "secret." I started out really cool with everyone and one of the guys, I'm fun and blah blah...but then when I get drinking and bolder - yeah, I have no game.

OK, well Boy 1 and I have hung out socially before, we're pretty close sometimes (as far as telling each other things about our personal lives I mean) so we've been like that before which makes it not a big deal I don't think. I'm sure he knows I like him and obviously doesn't care. Whatever, fine. I really could not care less what he thinks of the situation because we've been through it before - it's just a little thing now - we hang out, he tells me his girl problems, I analyze and assist, we laugh, we talk politics, we go home. Seperately.

Boy 2 is a completely new situation and I'm afraid now that maybe I blew it. Granted, I'm friendly with everyone and a lil more touchy-feely and huggy after hours (and, after a few drinks)...but this was a clear sign that alcohol, crushes, and coworkers create a very bad situation for this butterfly. At one point I was holding hands with one of them walking down the street. Cute? Maybe. Or not. Shit. Who does that?

I'm so ashamed.

On one hand some of my guys who I am just friends with on the ride back were like, yeah, you were all up on that. I think they know now that you like them. I believe it began with, "what's up with you and Boy 2?" and I was like, "what do you mean?" " were holding hands." .....Oh. That. Um....I don't know. Great...... Maybe they were just giving me a hard time though. Or were they just jealous it wasn't them I was paying attention to all night?

Then on the other hand, my girlfriend who was with me said I was totally fine and had nothing to be embarrassed about. It was a group of about six guys, and none of them were really talking to anybody but each other, so really I was just being a social butterfly - holding the group together. She said that all the guys were kind of quiet so I was just more outgoing and that I shouldn't worry about it, and that they should be happy I was flirting with them.

I guess it's not that big of a deal, we were all drunk and I was just being overly-flirty. Right? Or did I blow it with Boy 2 (new one) by being too friendly? I mean, let's be honest - if a cute girl was singling you out with your group, and just being a little touchy-feely (like, arms around waist while talking or hand on shoulder type situation - not too out of control, not a makeout and/or sitting in lap situation - nothing like creepy)...would you be flattered or frightened???

Maybe we can just chalk it up to an "I was drunk" situation and it's really not that big of a deal. I can only hope. Thank God it's a long weekend and I can get away from everyone and they will all forget. That and I'll stop acting like I'm 12 and get over it. It's not a big deal, and I know I'm totally making it a big deal. But, not to the boys - just to you faithful bloggers.

Fuck me. I may try but I'm so not the mysterious, game-playing girl. I apparently let it all out and wear my heart on my sleeve.


At 1:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

girl... it's probably somewhere in between what your guy friends and what your girl friends said. but it doesn't really matter, cuz he was drunk too, wasn't he??? he probably doesn't CLEARLY remember either. don't stress it and have a good weekend!


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