Thursday, July 28, 2005

Yo Girl, Lemme Get Those Digits


I can honestly say that I have never, in my life, asked for a boy's phone number at a bar. And, just as honestly, I can say that I rarely give my phone number out when asked for. (I sometimes have too much fun with the rejection hotline...)

But, I was thinking about this recently: what is a girl to do when she meets a boy out that she'd like to give her number to?

I certainly could never ask someone for his number. Not because of any rules or anything, but because I know I wouldn't call. I'm too shy. I'd get the number and then, when thinking about calling, I wouldn't use it because I'd convince myself he only gave it because I asked - not not because of the spark in conversation, or because he was interested too.

And what if he seems to be enjoying himself, but at the end of the night/conversation, he doesn't ask? Should I volunteer it... "Hey, here's my number, give me a call sometime?" I just don't quite see those words ever coming out of my mouth...

I know I've heard a million times that guys sometimes like it when girls make the first move... It's just not really something that I do (most of the time).

So guys, I guess my question is this. If you're into a girl that you meet, you'll ask for her number, right? And if you don't ask, then she should assume that, while you might have enjoyed talking to her, you are not interested in getting to know her further?

24 Comments:

At 12:57 PM, Blogger Adam said...

Sometimes I ask for the number, but remember, we're just as shy as you are...I think it would be hot if a girl gave me her number...you don't have to call her...

 
At 1:24 PM, Blogger Dan said...

Being a dork, I would probably ask for an email rather than a phone number. 'Cause when I'd call, my heart would race and I'd stick my foot in my mouth. With an email... it seems easier to be relaxed and gauge any return interest.

 
At 1:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Usually if the conversation goes well i usually dont ask for the number because it feels like it ruins the moment because maybe she just looking for a person to converse with. Im usually that shy though.

 
At 2:09 PM, Blogger Elvis said...

Sara dear, you're putting way too much thought into this. Go with it. If I like someone, I'll ask for her number, or I won't (and let it be). Sometimes, she'll say "call me sometime", and give me a number. Email is alright... for a document request. (girl once said, "no no... you be like normal people and call me.") If I hang out with a nice lady, and no numbers are exchanged, then no numbers are exchanged (I can't have brunch with everyone). You shouldn't sweat these things tho... not really your style.

 
At 2:11 PM, Blogger I-66 said...

Never assume. We all know the old adage - when you assume you only make an ass out of you and me. Don't be afraid to offer it. There are some guys who are too shy to ask or can't find the right words or the right moment. We're not all the same, unfortunately there's no one rule that can be applied to all. If you like him then don't be afraid to put it out there.

 
At 2:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"If you're into a girl that you meet, you'll ask for her number, right? And if you don't ask, then she should assume that, while you might have enjoyed talking to her, you are not interested in getting to know her further?"

Shouldn't this go both ways? I'm sure a lot of guys think the same way - that if a girl likes a guy she'll ask for his number if she's interested in getting to know him better. I mean, why leave it up to the guy all the time? After all, I think that it's equally uncomfortable for both genders to ask someone out.

 
At 2:27 PM, Blogger The Senator said...

Talk to The Florist. She just walked up to me and that was the end of that.

Simple.

Don't play by any bullshit rules. Make up your own.

 
At 2:46 PM, Blogger Elvis said...

Senator, I second the motion, and it shall carry.

 
At 2:57 PM, Blogger Kathryn Is So Over said...

Sara, really, I can ask my friend for his friend's number or email. Or pass along yours.

We can drop the elaborate ruse. ;)

 
At 3:12 PM, Blogger Sara said...

thanks for all the comments!

mk. i'm not playing with rules here at all, i'm just saying i'm too shy to ask myself - so what are my options?

also, i'm not stressing it :-) i try not to stress about boys! my friend and i were simply discussing this the other day.

kathryn, what ruse? hehe... seriously, i was talking about this to Lil the other day (before she left for NY)... perhaps last night fell into that category, perhaps not...

 
At 3:16 PM, Anonymous Underused said...

I can't count the number of times that I've chickened out on asking for a number, only to immediately regret it. Go for it.

For a more subtle approach, he mention's a web site, article, blog, say that you'd really appreciate it if he could send you the link and then offer your email address. This also works well with mp3s of bands that he had mentioned. "Oh, I've never heard of [crappy unknown local band his friend is in]. Why don't you send me one of their mp3s? Here's my email."

Anyway, just putting it out there.

 
At 3:18 PM, Anonymous RCR said...

"if" he. Whoops, used the old moniker too. Split personality disorder.

 
At 3:26 PM, Blogger Complacent Chase said...

I agree with the Senator, if you are interested...GO FOR IT! You shouldn't wait for a guy to ask (he could be shy as well).
If he calls...great(aren't you glad you went for it?! If he doesn't..his loss (better to know than to have regrets)!
Be bold!

 
At 4:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

business cards work well sometimes too.......

It's easy, and that way you've got to forms of communications on one easy to carry piece of paper

 
At 4:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

so what's the ruse kathryn and/or sara?

 
At 4:23 PM, Blogger Kathryn Is So Over said...

Sara met a friend of a friend last night... they did not exchange contact info... I'm not saying, I'm just saying.

 
At 4:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

could this be the beginning of an interblogular romance?

does this fellow have a blog as well?

 
At 4:34 PM, Blogger VP of Dior said...

I think next time just politely say that you wouldn't mind talking again and give him your number. It doesn't automatically mean he will call, but at least you tried.

I know this is so Ron Burgundy, but I found some cute personal calling cards that I carry. I don't like giving out a work phone/email to randoms because I think it can be unprofessional if they start pestering you at work. check out www.cocopink.com for some card ideas.

 
At 4:44 PM, Blogger Lil DC Diva said...

To clear up any confusion of an alleged "ruse" - I can confirm that Sara and I did indeed have this conversation the other day. But in my case, if you ask for my digits, I sure won't give them to you or vice versa. That's just where my life is at at this point. :-)

 
At 4:56 PM, Blogger Asian Mistress said...

I'm a fan of business cards. It may be cheesy but it seems easier - they have email and phone there. Plus - that way if it ends up you DON'T like the person - they don't have your personal phone number - it's much easier to block calls at work. Haha.

I also say, eh, go for it. Why be embarrased - it's not like you will ever see the guy again...so you might as well be bold!

 
At 9:51 PM, Blogger DanGuy said...

Yeah. It's the same in Canada. A friend of mine commending me for being really open with her (a few months ago I had told her that I wanted to go out with her even though we're great friends). We've stayed great friends, so if a situation that serious can work out fine, then forget embarrassment and just ask the guy. Worse comes to worse, he tells a couple other guys about this "desperate chick" he met at a bar. But how likely is that? ALMOST NOT AT ALL!

P.S. can I have your number? I'm Canadian? Or is that a turnoff... :P

 
At 10:56 PM, Blogger sassyassy said...

If they are interested they will let you know. I think email is a safer way to go initially and most people don't have a problem ponying that up.

 
At 7:19 AM, Blogger AMS said...

That rejection hotline thing is hillarious!

 
At 1:45 PM, Anonymous STEEL said...

Only on a blog would someone ask for an e-mail address. We're all grown ups here, ask for the number if your interested, then blog about the first date rather than what if.

 

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