Thursday, November 03, 2005

Bad weeks all around I guess...

Well, I know I'm not alone... But this week (starting last week) has SUCKED for me. Remember how I had started dating someone? Everything was good. Better than anything else recently. Between visits and calls and feelings. I've been happy.

Well, I guess all good things come to an end. Here's the scenario:

Saturday 10/22: He calls me. Says he wants me to come next weekend. He asked off of work and will call me on Sunday morning to let me know if he got the days off so I can go visit him.

Sunday 10/23: He doesn't call in the morning. He doesn't call at all.

Monday 10/24: He still doesn't call me about the upcoming weekend. So I call him and leave a message. He calls me back that night, with the bad news that he couldn't get off of work. I'm bummed, and he is too, but we agree we'll see each other in November a lot because he'll be home for 10 days. We have a good conversation. I bring up the fact that he has a tendency not to call when he says he's going to. He apologizes profusely and says not to take it personally, he's just really bad at doing it. He swears it won't happen again. We hang up on a really good note.

Tuesday 10/25 around 3:30 pm: He calls (I'm surprised because he wasn't supposed to). He's excited because he figured out a way for me to still come visit him around his work schedule. I say I'll probably still come. He says PLEASE DO because he really wants to see me. He misses me. Stuff along those lines. I think it's sweet and decide to cancel the plans I'd made for the weekend earlier in the day. He's excited and says he'll call me that night when he gets off of work, around 10:30, to work out the details.

Tuesday 10/25, 10:30: I've packed my bags because I know the rest of the week will be too busy to get it done. I also have gone out and bought bags of candy & pumpkins to stuff it in for him and his roommate. But he does not call. I get kind of pissed.

Wednesday 10/26: He does not call. I'm really pissed and a little bit worried about him.

Thursday 10/27: He does not call. I'm really pissed and also worried.

Friday 10/28: I'm supposed to drive to visit today. He does not call. I call him that afternoon and leave a message saying (practically verbatim): "Hi, it's me. I just wanted to make sure that you're ok, not hurt or sick or in a hospital somewhere. If that's the case, I hope you're ok and please let me know if I can do anything at all! But, if that's not the case, I just wanted to say that I don't think you should call me again. I mean, you're doing a stellar job of it already, but I just wanted to solidify that fact." It wasn't a bitchy message. More concerned at first and hurt toward the end. I was about to cry. He does not call back.

Saturday 10/29: He does not call.

Sunday 10/30: He does not call.

Monday 10/31: Hedoes not call, but he is online. His profile says this (and I quote, word for word): Cell phone was dead all weekend due to issues with my P.O.S. ancient Nextel Phone... Sorry to those who couldn't reach me and thanks to those few who left hateful messages... mature... Phone is back and working now if you need to get a hold of me...

And that's it. That wraps it up. And I'm not going to lie, I've been pretty upset this entire week.

He should have emailed me or gotten in contact with me some other way if his stupid phone was broken. And he has SOME nerve trying to say that in his profile, as though he's the one who was wronged in this situation. And talk about mature? How mature is it to leave a message like that in an online profile? And my message was NOT hateful.

Seriously. So your phone breaks?? There are other ways of communicating. Email? Roommate's phone? ESPECIALLY IF SOMEONE WAS PLANNING ON DRIVING 6 HOURS TO VISIT.

So, I guess another one bites the dust.

30 Comments:

At 9:25 AM, Blogger Johnny said...

Time to write this one off and pork some college hottie.

 
At 9:42 AM, Blogger Happy and Jaded said...

Eek! Sorry to hear this. This guy sounds like he could be related to my Ex, who used to do the exact same no-calling thing. Hang in there. Breakups are tough.

 
At 9:46 AM, Blogger That Girl said...

Yeh, that sucks! and seriously he knew you were supposed to come see him, he could have found a way to get ahold of you! That is just a ridiculous excuse!! And I hear you on the awful week!

 
At 9:51 AM, Blogger Asian Mistress said...

Ohh nooo!! You didn't tell me. :(

Talk offline...

 
At 9:57 AM, Blogger Kathryn Is So Over said...

Sara, you have no idea how much I identify with you right now. :(

 
At 10:09 AM, Blogger I-66 said...

I empathize, having gone through something similar close to Labor Day.

You rock. You deserve better.

 
At 10:29 AM, Blogger Sara said...

Thanks guys. :-) I'll bounce - always do...

Kathryn, if you want to vent feel free to shoot me an email! It sucks if you're feeling the same way.

 
At 11:06 AM, Blogger mixin' vixen said...

ew. that is so tacky and wrong in so many ways.

i'm so sorry.

 
At 11:51 AM, Blogger roosh said...

I think I predicted this.

The reason is because if you broke up once, the odds of breaking up again is 100%. I mean, just look at Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson.

 
At 12:14 PM, Blogger Washington Cube said...

I wish I could be angry about this because it warrants it, but it only makes me sad because how many of your readers have gone through the same thing...which begs the next question...why? Obviously he had other resources to contact you beyond one cell phone. For those of you guilty of pulling this stunt, do you care to step forward and explain your rationale to the rest of us? Oh yes...I use the word "rationale" with tongue in cheek since there is obviously no logic at play here.

 
At 12:57 PM, Blogger The Committed One said...

He has no excuse for not getting in touch with you ... and he was definitely the IMMATURE one in the situation with the profile message. I am sorry you had to go through that and I am with Cube - does anyone out there who has pulled a likewise stunt want to share there "rationale"?????

... just curious

 
At 2:45 PM, Blogger chicgirl said...

sounds like he uses what works best for him when it works best. if a guys wants to contact you - he will (this is what i tell myself everytime i realize i should not email or call - then sometimes still do and it is always not the right thing to do).
you are way too good for him. he is a certified flake who manipulates things -

 
At 3:08 PM, Blogger A Unique Alias said...

I think that it isn't unsalvageable at this point, unless this was similar to the circumstances under which you guys broke up before. There's a lot to be said for communication, and a breakdown in communication doesn't mean that future communication is impossible.

Or, he's a dick.

 
At 4:40 PM, Anonymous rcr said...

I'm not going to defend the not calling, but I definitely would not have taken well to "But, if that's not the case, I just wanted to say that I don't think you should call me again. I mean, you're doing a stellar job of it already." I'm not sure how you could say that without coming off as bitchy, especially the last part, which is a clear attack (even if warranted). I would have been more direct and said "I'm feeling a little hurt that you didn't call me back, especially since we had plans. I want to talk to you about this." But then again, I don't know how many times you may have talked about it already. Suffice it to say, I wouldn't have jumped straight to breaking up.

Just my unsolicited opinion.

 
At 5:03 PM, Blogger Rhinestone Cowgirl said...

Ugh, Sara, that really sucks. I don't blame you for ditching him - the not calling is seriously annoying, and his ass would have been on the street in two seconds if I were in your shoes.

I echo Johnny - pork a college hottie.

 
At 6:56 PM, Blogger Dutchess said...

ewww. I'm sorry. I also agree with RCR, in a perfect world we would say what we actually feel. Its just so hard when your also pissed off at the same time. I know I only get bitchy when I'm hurt most -its just some twisted, defensive, menchanism we all have.

There's no reason in the world that boy couldnt have least emailed you! I guess, get pissed, cry, move on and live and learn. sorry :-(

 
At 9:10 AM, Blogger Miss Penny Lane said...

"He should have emailed me or gotten in contact with me some other way if his stupid phone was broken."

Abso-frickin'-lutely!! Good riddance, Girl; sounds like he's an immature game player. Sorry you had to go through that, but at least you found out sooner than later...

 
At 10:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well...let's see...we live in the 21st Century which means he had the options of email,IM, Blackberry, not to mention the antiquated fax and of course the good old landline phone. Next.

 
At 11:10 AM, Blogger cuff said...

Kick him to the curb. Very roughly.

Do you really want to be seeing someone who cannot function when his cell phone is out? How do you catch a moron like that up to speed with things like pay phones, internet accessible public computers in libraries, etc.? Too much work. Kick him to the curb and let him drown when the rain comes.

 
At 11:54 AM, Blogger sassyassy said...

Better to find out what a loser he is now than when you are in so deep it is hard to move on. These guys should come with a warning.

 
At 2:49 PM, Blogger roosh said...

" Kick him to the curb."

I dunno, looks like he ended it first!

 
At 2:53 PM, Blogger roosh said...

but only after he thought you would end it first!!

:) :) :) :) :)

 
At 3:27 PM, Anonymous dan said...

Seems to me the focus of all the comments is on the wrong person. The real story is not the behavior of the guy. Anyone can state the obvious that he is a dick. No, the important and overlooked questions are how and why Sara gets involved with assholes like him in the first place. Any ideas?

 
At 4:28 PM, Blogger Sara said...

OK thanks again for everyone's support! (Well, almost everyone... DCB not quite as much).

Good points all around. Including the fact that my message was bitchy - because although I was near tears as I was leaving it, it was a little bit in hindsight...

But, I know I may get poo-pooed for saying this, he's not THAT bad of a guy. I'm really hurt and still pissed, but for the most part he is a sweet person and I've known him for over a decade. I just feel bad that this stuff is being written and he has no clue. So, he was a jerk and totally inconsiderate in this situation. And I meant it when I said I didn't want him to call me anymore because I don't want to be with someone who doesn't make more of an effort if their phone breaks. But he is a good guy in most other aspects.

There. Now I don't feel quite as guilty!

 
At 8:51 PM, Blogger DCSportsChick said...

What the hell? What kind of behavior is that? I agree with what you did- I would have done the same thing. Sure, he may be a great guy and all, but how hard is it to get in touch with you in this day and age? He has no excuse. And speaking of immaturity, his IM message was pretty damn immature- he shouldn't be throwing stones.

 
At 9:58 AM, Blogger cuff said...

Dan, I think Sara just answered part of your question...as the good Dr. Freud would say, we have a compulsion to repeat...

 
At 11:36 AM, Blogger playfulinnc said...

Ok, so he's not that bad, but he is extremely self centered and lazy. Two traits that would make a marriage horrible.

You are better off.

 
At 3:58 PM, Blogger Complacent Chase said...

Okay, I am super late, Sara, but I have to say that you did the right thing.
Yeah, you might have been bitchy in your voicemail, but you were angry and hurt and you just expressed it. Also, I agree with most people hear that say that he could have contacted you if he wanted to. He obviously was pushing you away and was being cowardly in his behavior.
I am sure he is a great guy. Even great guys can be assholes on occassion. But you shouldn't have to put up with being disrespected.
I hope you are doing better and moving on. :-)

 
At 11:26 AM, Blogger Tasha said...

awwww i am sooo sorry about that sara!

let me know if you need anything! love ya!

 
At 5:20 PM, Blogger Robin said...

Common courtesy...doesn't anyone have that anymore?
NEXT!

 

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