Monday, November 28, 2005

Pay It Forward ... Sara's Version



Last week, I was talking to a friend about guys. And how, while there are so many nice ones out there, there are also a TON of assholes. You all have known one of the types... Cocky, selfish, lying, sometimes cheating, pansy-ass, spineless guys who either are jerks upfront or are of the sneakier, slimier variety - the ones who start of being super nice and considerate without even a hint of who they really are deep down. In my opinion - so obviously it's correct ;-) - those guys are the worst kind of assholes. At least with the ones who are jerks upfront, you know what you're getting yourself into - and it's kind of your own fault if you fall for them and end up getting burned. But the deceiving ones - the ones who make you think at first that they're the type that you'd like your family to meet - they can really blindside you. Knock your feet out from under you and make you wonder for weeks what the heck really happened.

So my friend and I were discussing the awful ways in which these guys treat girls. And started wondering who the hell they think they are - these guys - and why the hell they seem to think that they can get away with treating women the way that they do. They act like these slimey bastards - whether cheating, lying, falling off the face of the earth, or whatever else they may do - and then, to top it off, they always come slithering back and are surprised if they're not taken. And we realized that, by this age, when guys act like that and think it's ok - it's most likely because women in the past have let the guys treat them that way.

And then I realized that because the guys have been led to believe that it's ok - they'll always treat women that way. UNLESS maybe we start a sort of "Dating Pay It Forward"... When you're dating a jerk - leave him. Don't take him back. And, maybe, it will be a sign to him that it's not ok to treat people that way. And, maybe, he'll think twice in the future about treating someone else that way. And I'm sure it's hard to think about him with someone else - nobody likes to do that - but perhaps someone else will have done the same thing to your next man to help turn him into someone who will treat you with the respect that you deserve. See what I'm saying? So pay it forward with the assholes - don't let them think it's ok to treat you or anyone else with less than what you deserve.

OK, fine - perhaps you think it's a silly concept. It probably is. But if you want to really how I feel - whether you think of it as "paying it forward" or not - you should leave anyone who doesn't treat you nicely. Sometimes it's hard because of feelings that may exist - but don't you want to look back on your life and remember that you had respect for yourself?

10 Comments:

At 12:02 PM, Blogger I-66 said...

Spot on. The problem is that some people just don't learn, no matter how obvious something should seem. Getting someone to change their ways is a hard road to travel.

 
At 12:06 PM, Blogger cuff said...

Good advice, but I think there is no cure for the problem -- it's one of the great mysteries of life.

 
At 12:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, you got it Sara...
But now we just have to find the good girls...

 
At 12:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

damn...it's not letting me log in!

 
At 12:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

fucking shit..
it's me, Adam

 
At 3:09 PM, Blogger Robin said...

EXACTLY! It takes a while for some people to learn. I know it took me off and on with someone for three years to finally learn that he would never change. When he came back the last time I finally wrote hime a long email telling him how much of a loser he was and how I hope he starts treating people better, etc. Then when he showed up with someone at a party I thought I would die...like he finally listened and that person was going to get the treatment I deserved all those years. I later learned he dumped her and was treating her worse than I was being treated...some people just NEVER change! SONSABITCHES!

 
At 2:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a perfect description of Adam.

 
At 3:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know WAY more women that run around on men -- then men run around on women. Its a slaughter fest out there and women are winning.

 
At 3:39 PM, Blogger Sara said...

anon 3:37: Really? it's totally opposite in my world. I know NO women who have (since graduating college) dicked people over and MANY guys who have. I guess it all depends on who ya know...

 
At 10:10 PM, Blogger chicgirl said...

Sara,
Awesome blog. I hope some ladies reading it will stick to it. I know of one guy I hope to have the opportunity to pay it forward with:)

 

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